Just wondering

Sometimes I like to peek at other peoples blogs.  It scares the crap out of me when people have music blaring on thier blogs when you open them.  Have you ever noticed that those are the same people who have like 100 posts to go thru before you get to the bottom and can turn it off  (or at the very least, turn it down)  I would bet that I would be more likely to listen to their music if i could prepare myself by choosing to turn it on.  hehehe

The end cannot come too soon

Ya, since I am the one who writes this, and I have been in bed for months, most of these entries are about me and how I feel, or when someone vents to me, then my perception of it.  I will start off by saying this is not a nice post.  I am extremely sick and tired of my headaches.  I am tired of staying inside, and I am tired of not being a part of the world.  I want to have no headache, and I want to be a part of the world.  I want to have the energy to participate in things.  I feel really leftout, and to be dealing with headaches on top of it all is extremely frustrating. 
My rant is complete, but I still do not feel better,  oh well, perhaps later.

We made it thru Christmas!!!

What an amazing Christmas!  Dr Jones let me off bedrest for Christmas activities.  What a wonderful gift.  I was able to visit Brielle for the first time.  She is such a beautiful baby.  She reminds me of when Emily was little.  I love that we are having a boy, but there definatly is something so precious about little girls.  We also got to decorate gingerbread houses with the Ramseys--Anne didn't know what she was getting into when she opened the door to us!  hehe  Then dad and Gail and the boys came.  We went to Golden Corral for lunch.  We had fun visiting and laughing.  By then I was exhausted and having light contractions.  We came home and Thomas and the kids watched a movie, while dad and Gail did some shopping.  I figured that was a good time to fit in my NST.  I completed that, and then we ran up to Bret and Kristy's house for the annual dinner and gift exchange. 
Christmas Eve is such a fun time.  I just love it.  While we were out, a secret Santa dropped off some gifts for us.  How wonderful and blessed.  Thank you for all of you who remembered us.  We had a lot of fun at the party.  That night we got to open the Christmas Eve PJs--Thanks Becky for making them for us!  The kids just loved them!!!  After the kids went to bed them Sean and I needed to wrap and put together our gifts.  Sean was so busy this week, and had very little sleep.  He was so exhausted that I had to send him to bed because he kept falling asleep while wrapping.  TJ came in and helped me finish.  We laughed at how funny Sean gets when he is tired.  The next morning the boys got up about 7:30 and went thru thier stockings and Santa gifts.  Emily and Sean got up a little after 8:00.  Mom and Dianne came by about 9:00.  We opened gifts.  It was so fun.  Emily especially had a permagrin.  I loved watching them!  I always have a hard time choosing gifts for them, but they got things that they really enjoyed.  Sean and I opened our gifts, and felt so greatful. 
Then Sean made breakfast for all of us, and I went upsrairs and rested.  I stayed down for the day.  I have been pretty crampy ever since, but it was wonderful.  Last night, Royce, Eric and Kandy came by and watched a show.  Things are getting back to normal.  Tomorrow with be 34 weeks, so we will have reached another good milestone for the baby.  Sean has been terribly swamped with things here.  The kids are busy playing.  All is well at the Gordons home. :) 

It's Christmas Eve!!!!

I can't believe it!  It is already Christmas Eve.  Sean will get home just in time for the annual Christmas dinner and gift exchange at Bret and Kristy's.  Danielle won't be there, she is in Spain.  I will not be playing my christmas gift joke this year.  (Man, bedrest can put such a damper on activities!  hehe)  Out of my goal of 11 memory books, I was only able to get 1 complete.  What a bum.  I think I will just show them the unfinished gift, and let them know I will finish ASAP.
Dad, Gail and the boys are coming up today and should be here around noon.  I need to take the kids to the dollar store for the dollar gift exchange, and I really should get some frozen potatoes and a disposable pan for the potatoe cassarole I need to bring for dinner tonight.  I also need to fit in a NST today.  I should probably shower so that I can get started and home soon to get in a little rest. 
I am feeling crampy today, but it is likely just ordinary old woman pregnancy--I know I am not super old, but 32 with 3 kids feels a lot diffrent than 20 with no kids.  Sean has been flying coast to coast each day--too bad he doesn't get his hourly bonus, but luckily he has a job, and hopefully weeks like this can help the company so that we can have a better year.  This one has kind of been the pits.  But at least we still have our home and pretty good health. 
Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!  The kids are so excited--especially Emily.  That makes it so wonderful!!!!

3 Days till Christmas

I can't believe Christmas is coming so soon.  Last night was the traditional Gibson Family Christmas Progressive Dinner.  I was not able to attend.  Sean was flying, the kids had haircuts, and I was not feeling well.  My mom and Dianne took the kids for me.  They had a great time.  While they were gone I went and did my NST (my bp was a little high, and I figured since I needed to go the next day anyway, I might as well get it out of the way while the kids were busy.  By the time they got home, Emily had a fever.  I gave her some medicine, and my mom gave her a bath and she went to sleep.  We both slept in till 10 the next morning, which was possible because the boys slept in until 9:30.
Christmas is finally catching up with me.  I usually put together Christmas plates soon after Thanksgiving.  I have been trying to do it, but Sean keeps telling me I can't.  It is killing me.  Got them to make cookies and tried to save some, but there is always a "need" elsewhere, plus Sean has me figured out.  He assures me "Next year we can make up for it!" 
We have recieved so much help with this pregnancy.  Thank you to such good friends, neighbors, and ward members, and family.  Yesterday we recieved many wonderful gifts.  Thank you so much!  We will truly enjoy them.  We also recieved a very special gift from unknown giver.  I do not know who it is from, and it doesn't seem right to try to figure it out, but all I can say is thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts!  We really do appreciate it, and we know our children will too.  I will save the card and memory of it for the rest of my life, and today we were able to use the gift to make for a really special Christmas that our family otherwise would not have had.  Thank you so much.  Today before I used the wonderful gift, I said a prayer of Thankfulness to you and your gift and for guidance on how to use it.  I had to fight the tears as I left my car, so please know how much it meant to us.
Tonight the boys are going skating with my grandparents and Matthew and Sarah.  Emily fell asleep at 6:15.  Makes for a quiet home.  Can't wait to talk with my sweetheart. 

Today

I am not feeling too great today.  All day yesterday and today I have had really bad stomach cramps.  My bp is a little high 140s over 95.  If the bottom number gets to 100, then I will need to go in, but I should be okay until then.  Mentally I feel overcome with gratitude.  Sean only got about 4 hours of sleep last night (he had an early flight.  Today he flew coast to coast and back to St. Louis, so he has a huge day ahead of him.  He stayed up late trying to catch up on some house jobs and scheduling issues so it won't be so hard on me while he is gone.  My mom has been here this morning, Nate fixed us lunch, and now the kids are at the Ramseys.  They have haircuts this afternoon, then the progressive dinner is tonight.  I won't be able to go, but it will be awesome for the kids.  I watched the kids leaving, and I had such a surge of love for them.  They have been so good today, so helpful and caring.  I feel really blessed.  It made me think of the saying "Parents don't just love their kids, they fall in love with them."  I totally understood that feeling today.  Sometimes I love them so much I feel giddy!!!  Well time to sign off.  I am so tired, but so happy!

Christmas program

This is the last week of school before Christmas break!  The kids had thier annual Christmas Program.  I wanted to go, and I was planning to go.  I didn't feel well, and Sean was here to go, but the straw that broke the camels back what a facebook chat with my VT.  She said I don't want to sound harsh, but you are on bedrest for a reason, and you need to think about your baby.  I knew she was right and I also knew that many people who would be there would also know that I should be home, and would "remind" me of that fact.  It was truly a blessing in disquise because I really did feel awful, plus Sean did get some video for me.

There were a lot of people there for Jarons (it was close to the beginning) so his photos were no quite as good.  The kids look so cute.  I think they are tired of the diffrent programs, but as a parent, they are so great.  Plus I love the fact that the school does a Christmas program.  Most schools do not. 

Merry Christmas!

Baby Update

We had another ultrasound today.  It was so sweet.  This time I did in fact see that Ethan is a boy. hehe.  He was so active today, and every time she tried to get a profile shot of him he would stick his hand up to his face.  Due date doesn't change, but he is growing really well.  It showed him at 33 weeks 4 days.  It also showed that he is 4 pounds 7 ounces.  Emily was 4 pounds 6 ounces, so he will be bigger than her.  Good news is he is bigger, should be every bit as healthy, bad news is that this time I will likely have to push.  Emily was so I little I didn't even have to push.  Bad news is that my dang headaches have flared up!!!  They are so BAD!  I cannot even believe it.  I can hardly think, and I think I am going to have to go throw up!  YIKES!  Bye.

Christmas tree 2009

This is the Gordon Family Christmas tree 2009. We typically decorate it a little diffrently. Each year we get a decoration for the family and for each child to represent the year. It has been a great tradition, and it is fun to see the special decorations from each year. We even laugh about the one that got broken when our wild dog Kiah tipped our tree a few years ago.

This year has obviously been a diffrent year. We just got the tree up a couple nights ago. We are unsure of when the baby is coming, but have had moments when we thought it was very soon. SO this year we are not digging out all the decorations and extras. This year we decided to make homemade snowflakes, and paperchains. While it is not all that we are used to, it is however the perfect decor for this year.

Sledding Nov 2009

This was the first big snowfall of the year. The kids wasted no time getting down to the park sledding. It is so great that there are so many kids in the neighborhood, that we are all so close, and I love that I can watch them at the park from my house. They spend a few hours playing, and then went from house to house getting hot chocolate from the parents. Eventually they settled in to watch movies and play computer games out of the cold. How fun for them!

Emily and Santa

We are doing a mommy and me preschool this year. It has been so wonderful. While she had an awesome experience at preschool, it has been so nice having a hand in her experience, and the fact that it is here in the neighborhood is great too.

For the letter N they took thier first fieldtrip to the mall to see St. Nick! She liked him, but I think she was aware he was Santas helper and not the real thing. She had no desire to sit on his lap or show him any unnecessary affection. haha

Emily's classmates with Santa

Lego Robotics teamwork champs

It was wonderful to see Nate with his teammates. This was during the teamwork section. They had spaghetti noodles and mini marshmallows. They were instructed to make the tallest tower. They only had a couple minutes, and it was great to have them come up with ideas and encourage eachother. I think the positive interaction and encouragement was what won them first place!!!!

Lego Awards

Lego Robotics Tournament

Saturday was Nates Lego Robotics Tournament at ISU. He has been working so hard. They typically meet 2 x a week for 1.5 hours since the beginning of the year. Recenty they have extended times added days etc. Nate has also came in during lunch recess to tweek and perfect little things here and there. I was a huge deal for him.
Sean was on a flight, and I had been pretty sick, so we made arrangements for him to get a ride with his teacher (who is also our backyard neighbor). They left at 8:00 am and got home around 6:00. I sent out invites to family and friends to please come support Nate since Sean was in Canada, and I was on bedrest. I didn't hear of anyone definatly coming, and I just didn't have the heart to not being there to support him. I chose to go to the morning presentations. It took about 1.5 hrs to watch the 3 presentations, but it was so great to see thier interactions and to see when they accomplished thier goals. Jaron and Emily did really good at sticking by me. Jake was there, so they just ran in the pack. Then I went home to get rested up for the afternoon awards cerimony. I still felt horrible, but again I really wanted him to be cheered for his efforts, and I wanted to snap a couple photos.
Heavenly Father blessed me with a front row parking spot both times, but I was especially thankful for the one at Reed Gym. We watched for a while, then it was announced that they would be presenting to the other side. By now I was weak and getting nauseous. There was no way I could go up the stairs. I got to see 2 run offs and they were getting ready to announce the awards, when It hit me like a rock. I had to leave. To tell you how desperate I was, I almost gave my $300 camera to a teenager to take photos of Nate for me. Reality hit in that I did not know this person, she did not know me, or Nate, and how will I get my camera back.
I went to the other side where Dave Cameron was and gave it to him and said "I am really sick, I have to go now, Please take pictures of Nate. Lickity Split I was out of there.
Once at home I was vomitting and nauseous and havin contractions and pain. Sean was between Washington, and an hour away from Canada. I could not get a hold of him, my mom had fallen at Reed Gym and was hurt, and grandpa and grandma are not feeling well. I called my friend Anne and started to cry. She said wait there I am sending help.
I ordered pizza for the kids, Royce came to sit with them, Jason took me to Labor and Deliver, and Anne's dad George brought me home. While there I was given a shot to help reduce contractions, Then they gave me some medicine to calm me for sleep. They did the Ffn test that came back positive saying the the baby will likely come in the next 2 weeks. So I also got a shot of the steroids to strengthen his lungs. The next night I got the other shot. These will really help incase Ethan does come early.
Nate and I passed when he got home and I left. He had been awarded a medal for the competition, and his team, the dominators to 1st prize for Team spirit. With this accomplishment, they get to continue on to state!!!! (Jan 16th Reed Gym) In the mean time they have some quirks to iron out of the robot and the presentations. I am so excited for him.

Thanksgiving

It has been a few weeks, so I thought I better try to catch up a little or else I would forget. Thanksgiving was a couple weeks ago. Sean has been busy trying to work as much as possible. With the slowing economy and job loss, pay decreases, and lack of flights, he has wanted to take advantage of any flight he can get. Needless to say, he had a flight on Thanksgiving.
With Grandma recently getting a knee replacement, and both of them slowing down, it is so difficult for them to put on big dinners anymore. So even though Kendra and Kyler, and Paige and Nathan were not there, Karen and Steve offered to host Thanksgiving for us all. Matt, Jen, and the kids were in town, as well as MaryAnn and Rich and the kids. They had Thanksgiving at Gary and Sandras with Utah family, but MaryAnne, Rich and Tyler stopped by for a visit, and also dropped off a laptop for me to use while I am on bedrest. (Using this laptop has made the time go so much faster. Even though I get tired pretty easy, it is so great to just pop on to facebook and get and give updates, and to send and recieve emails.
Even though I was told to be on bedrest, I figured that I would be okay to go to Thanksgiving. I did not want the kids to miss out, and I knew that I could take it easy. I was also feeling decent when I woke up. While I stayed down most of the time, I still got pretty tired. When I came home then Dad, Gail, TJ and Thomas came over. Gail brought the big bucket of legos for the kids. They were in heaven, and we barely heard a word from them the rest of the night. I visited for a couple hours, and then went up to bed. I was so sore and tired.
The next morning we went to Golden Corral for breakfast. It is so funny, because the kids look so forward to going to Golden Corral with Grandpa Tbone and Grandma Gail. After dinner the boys headed for home, and I went up to bed. Nate talked Grandpa Tbone into taking him to the show 2012. Gail decided to get in a little more shopping (I guess getting up at 3:00 to shop black Friday was still not enough.)
I sure do love having company over to our home. It is so fun to visit, and I love knowing that people are comfortable in my home. The kids and Sean love the company as well.
It seemed like that little bit of excitement was enough to knock me down for a couple days, because the next week I pretty much had to stay in bed, and even going downstairs for water was exhausting. Sean is taking the whole thing in stride. The kids are getting pretty sick of bringing me water and carrying down plates for me. Hopefully the time will pass well and quickly. I do want the baby to be safe, and I want to be safe as well, but it will be good to not have to place such a demand on the family.
I have been truly touched and humbled. After my rant a couple weeks ago, and getting hit with the added health risks, the Relief Society has really jumped in an rallied around us. The new presidency has contacted me each week, and they have also made arrangements for us to recieve meals a couple times a week. The meals have been wonderful, but what has been so great is to see the support and concern. It is also so nice to see who is willing to serve us. Each person has offered without being asked, and apparently when they passed the list it got filled right up.
This has been a real challenge, I do however feel so blessed at this time. I hope that I can emerge from my challenges stronger. I hope that my challenges can have a positive impact on the kids and Sean as well.

We are Thankful for......

I wanted a chance to visit with the kids for a little while tonight. I decided with Thanksgiving being tomorrow that a good topic would be.

Give me 10 things you are most thankful for:

Emily

1. Heavenly Father and Jesus

2. Family

3. Good friends, good people

4. Good food

5. Charlie

6. Prayer

7. Home

8. Books

9. Toys

10. Church


Jaron

1. Family because they help out

2. Friends help you to have fun

3. Church helps you to be a good example to others

4. Legos help with creativity

5. Holidays because they are fun

6. Money so you can buy stuff

7. Vehicles to get around with

8. School so you can be smart and learn to read

9. House gives us shelter

10. Happiness


Nate

1. Time with family

2. Jesus and Heavenly Father

3. Friends that are a good example

4. School to get a good education

5. Movies that entertain me, especially Action movies.

6. Food and food storage

7. Tuna fish

8. Money to provide our wants and needs

9. Holidays

10. Teachers, especially Mrs Coast

Sean
1. Michelle and the kids
2. The gospel
3. Live near family
4. Good friends
5. Good job
6. home
7. Live in USA
8. Live in Pocatello Idaho
9. Technology
10. Have a good relationship with family

Michelle
1. Sean and the kids
2. Church associations and gospel lessons
3. Good friends
4. Gome
5. Good health
6. Modern Medicine
7. Technology to keep in touch and to keep us safe
8. Seans job to provide for the family
9. Live close to good school with good teachers for the kids
10. Live close to family and have good relationships

As we are thankful for these things, and many others, we are also so Thankful that our home is being blessed and prepared to have Ethan. It has been a tough road, but it will be so great to hold him in our arms, and get to know him and watch his little spirit grow and develop. Thanks to friends, family, and ward members for help and encouragement to get us far enough along in the pregnancy for him to be healthy. That is our wish.

Great News at the Doctors Office!

Blood pressure down, got rid of most of my water weight, labs were great! It is very likely that I will be able to hold on to the baby a few more weeks! Such a relief. I am still on bedrest, I am able to get up when I need to and can. Still not supposed to go out. Doc said "New Moon is out for you" haha Because of how quickly the blood pressure goes up, I will still need to go in for nonstress test 2 times a week. Thank heaven for modern medicine, and a patient doctor. Emily just did the sweetest thing for me. She brought up 2 glasses of ice water and a bag of fruit and veggies: 2 bananas, 2 oranges, 2 apples, and a handful of grapes and carrots. She is such a sweet girl and takes such good care of me. Last night we had a great meal brought in. Lisa Poll and Anne Cameron brought in Cinncinatti Chili. It is angel hair pasta with a beanless sweet chili served over it, and you can add beans, onions, cheese and sour cream to the top. A yummy salad with homemade ranch, and gingersnap cookies. We've been eating really good this week thanks to the relief society. Taco soup from Jodi DaBell, and crockpot chicken and veggies from Tausha Baker. Elizabeth Demuzio also brought in really good potato bacon soup with homemade wheat bread. Kids have a half day today. They are so excited for Thanksgiving holiday.

Things are going pretty good

While I still have headaches everyday, they have not been quite as severe of lasting as long. (knock on wood--I usually regret optimism, because the headaches come on fast, but I am hopeful.) I have been a really good girl and stayed down, and it has really made a diffrence. We have had a couple meals brought in, and that makes everyone feel better. Curt and Melissa organized a family fast for me and the baby, and sean and the kids. I really think that that makes a big diffrence as well. I have started a new medication for blood pressure that I think makes a diffrence. Tomorrow I meet with the doctor, and he will review the tests and let me know where we go from here. I feel very confident that we will be able to hold on to the baby for a while longer. Sooooo greatful for all the thoughts, prayers and fast!!!!!

Could be better news.......

I went to the doctor today. I have a problem with getting a little too enthusiastic with due dates. I generally inch up the date a few days, for example I am due Feb 7th according to my first ultrasound, my 2nd ultrasound said Feb 2nd, so I prefer to be due Feb 2nd. 5 days is generally not too big of a deal, but if you have a premature baby, each day is so important. So while I don't know to the day, I am considered 28 weeks (I thought I was 30 weeks.)
Our last baby was born 7 weeks early at 4 pounds 6 ounces. I got preeclampsia all of the sudden and was in the hospital about 4 days before she was born. Those 4 days were tough, but she was given 3 hormone shots to strengthen her lungs, and I was so well monitored. She was in the NICU for under 2 weeks. While there she only needed to put on weight to maintain her temp, develop a sucking reflex, and they were so impressed with how quickly she did this. Apparently if you deliver early, it is a better situation if they are girls (they are fighters!) She has never had any health problems.
I never realized what a dangerous situation we were in, and I did not realize how lucky we were especially with her. Recently I have heard scary stories of babies born even less premature as her, and I am begining to realize that we were truly blessed.
Today I went into my doctor, and my blood pressure was high. There was also the added benefit of 7 pounds in 19 days! Of course there is the issue of my headaches, and I have been taking quite a bit of medication. My doctor was quite concerned, and has ordered additional tests, and I will be going in to have the baby monitored 2 times a week. I go back in to him next week to find out the results and make a plan. He prepared me that depending on the results, we may need to deliver the baby soon. Of course that will require hospital for me and NICU for baby. I asked if it would help for me to do more, or if I should do when I able and relax the rest of the time. He said that my time of doing things was done until we deliver. So while I have been staying in bed, It sounds like it is official now.
I have to admit that the reality of this is hitting me. I have not taken my health too seriously up to this point, and while no severe problems have been confirmed, I know that I need to be careful. I know that we will be okay, but please pray for us. I hate to ask you to pray for me and my health, but I especially worry for the baby, Sean for the burden he carries, and the added stress on Nate Jaron and Emily. As Sean works a 7 on 7 off schedule, when I am not downstairs with the kids, they get pretty restless, and I worry about them.
I will update when I know more, but right now I feel a little shocked and uncertain. I do feel so greatful for a wonderful doctor who is also our home teacher. He does truly care about our entire family, and that is so reassuring. Thank you to friends and family for your thoughts, prayers and help!

Oh, you're THAT mom!

No mother wants to hear that saying. That is because it usually has a negative connotation with it: ...the mom who gets after the kids friends whenever her child is sad, who lets her kids drink at their house because it is safer that having them go out to do it, who thinks her child couldn't possibly be the one who caused the trouble at school, who makes her daughter say they are sisters, etc. While not any of these listed above, this weekend I became the mom who leads her child in juvenile delinquincy! Luckily I had a partner in crime: Sean. *I did have to tie him down with duct tape and throw him in the car, but he would still be guilty by association by law.*
A week and a half ago was the elections for Student Body President. Friday was speeches and voting, and while they did try to get results before the weekend, due to absenses and close numbers, they needed to wait till Monday for results. When Nate came home that day I asked him how it went. He acted all mad and said "well I learned that I am totally going to be toliet papering (the friend who won)'s house. We laughed and visited, and that was all that was said. A year or two ago we started a tradition of having a Friday the 13th party for the kids and their friends. This past Friday was yet another. I gave in, since there has been like 4 Friday the 13ths and we had only had 1 party.
For the first couple hours I was up with a headache, I got feeling a little better, so I decided to join the group. The boys were talking about girls, and "revenge", and pranks, etc. I started to look on facebook and saw that it was this girls birthday and that they were having a girls late night over there. I said to the boys "Guess who else is having a late night" Oh man, the excitement and ideas started flying! I quickly realized that eventually these boys are going to play some of these pranks on people, and you know 10 year old boys: not all of them are appropriate. So I in my wisdom decided "Hey this is a great opportunity to teach them a lesson of how to play pranks so that if can be fun to all."
Sean and I threw the 2 youngest kids, 2 middle boys, a friend in a wheelchair, nate 5 other friends a roll of toliet paper, forks, and a door knocker into the back of the explorer and drove to the next street so that they all could be involved.
I should have brought earplugs, because it was one noisy car! They were so excited, and so I had to gain control of the noise and say: "Have you ever done this before? Well I have, so you better listen to me so that you don't get yourselves in trouble!" I preceded to tell them the rules, and said "You can ONLY do this ONCE every TWO years! Otherwise it will be a problem, and you will get in trouble! No the toliet paper cannot get wet, and No you cannot throw it over the house. No eggs, No shaving cream, it is not okay to gather all the stinky diapers in the neighborhood and deposit them on the yard, no silly notes, and this is why......." *I hope that I answered their questions, and drew a complete black and white picture for them.*
So, 2 grab toliet paper, and 2 grab forks. Now you have to picture this. That house is so bright! ALL of the exterior lights are on, and both the mom and dad are sitting on the front couch! There are cars driving by, street lights, and neighbors at home with their lights on! Not to mention we are practically in front of their home in our car with our parking lights on! hehehe I am totally laughing with Sean watching one of the boys knocking on the garage window (it was supposed to go on a basement window when they were all finished) while one is trying to spread TP, and the other 2 right by the front steps trying to insert forks into frozen lawn. Then seriously 30 seconds into it we see the dad run out, and we hear girls running out and all the kids screaming and running. When we get home, 2 of the 5 come home.....the other 3 are MIA and likely POWs! "We have to go back and get them" the 2 say. "No you can't!" I say. "Your parents will be here any minute." Like a coward I say "Sean, why don't you go get them!" "You started this he said!" I hate it when he is right! So I go to get them, and they are not at the girls house! Jaron and Jake who wanted to do the rescue mission but settled for the lookout from the front steps told me they saw some people run to the park. So I head down the next street only to find 3 boys toliet papering their teachers house! (Our backyard neighbor!) *Quick story: When I was a sophomore in HS I dabbled in pranks like this. I bought a toliet from the DI for $5, my friends and I put it in my seminary teachers yard with a silly note. What I did not know was that he and his wife were watching us from the front window (I only said I did it, I didn't say I was good at it!) Before we knew it the teacher FLEW out the door with a super soaker, scared the crap out of me and we each (Me the worst because I was the slowest) got so wet! I remember feeling guilty, but his wife actually thanked me. She said: "He is new to the school, and we always know that when students care enough to do this to us that we have passed the test!" Mr. Hall: I sure hope you feel the same way, because I know that those boys did it because they like you.
Now his house was really funny to watch them do, because they did not get "caught". Once again you could see my tailights (I guess I was the get away car!), but one neighbor was watching from his big picture window, cars kept passing, and the neighbor girl of their close friends got dropped off, and looked over too!
When I got them home I once again laid out the law to them, we got a good laugh and went to bed hoping that we were not the next target that night. Well, the lesson did not end there. Remember my #1 goal: It needs to be fun for everyone involved: well, that night we got SNOW. So I woke Nate up at 6:30 am and said "We had fun, but now we have some consequences: snow=wet toliet paper! Now we have to go clean it up!" So we went to work before we would get caught, hoping that he had seen it the night before (we left the bags on the steps just in case.) We drove by the girls house, but either the boys didn't do too much damage, or the girls had picked them up the night before. Then we got a sausage biscuit from McDonalds and visited on the way home. It was truly a unique mother son experience, but we had fun, and I hope that I was able to teach him a good lesson from it, I know they had a blast! I feel so greatful for good families, and for great friends for my children (and teachers!) Thanks for all you do to support me and my family!

Confessions of a natural smiler

To understand this statement you have to understand me. While I have suffered severe headaches this last year, and do not smile as much as I usually do, I am a habitual constant smiler. When I recieve a compliment, it is usually for my smile. When Sean recieves a compliment about me it is usually "Man, your wife sure has a beautiful smile." My uncles friend Poo who owns the local chinese resturaunt says "Michelle, you my very loyal customer, you always have a smile, you look like you haven't got a care in the world!" I tell him it is because I am at his resturaunt, and love his peanut chicken, then he brings me a plate of it to make me smile again! (I love that stroy! but back to the blog!)
I come by my smile honestly, and for that I am greatful. My dad is a natrual smiler too. By the age of 4 he would occasionally play in the band with brothers and cousins. He loves all types of music and that is a love that has been passed on as well. I think that my smile has benefited me in my life, I can think of a couple times it has won me jobs. Applying for my first at ISU Speech Path, as a 18 year old work study, I know that when I was asked about my computer experience and I said "Well I love to play solitare, I think I really teaches you how to use a mouse" probably wasn't what won me the job! hehe
I know I have inherited my smile from my dad. I have 2 brothers from his current marriage. While I have not had the priveldge of straight teeth and braces, You can tell we are brothers and sister because we have the same big smiles, and I would go as far as calling them permagrins! A few years back we all went to an amusement center where everything was dark, except the things that were white were really florescent! It was like being in Alice in Wonderland, and all you could see was 4 Chesshire smiles!
I am proud of my smile, but it has gotten me into trouble a few times. When I worked at the Health Department I occasionally met funeral home directors who came for death certificates. Apparently they only like to work with people who can have a serious face all the time. I asked on of them "I know that death is a sad thing, but why are all you guys always so serious all the time? It makes me nervous!" He smiled a little and said "We are not allowed to smile during work. People don't trust us if we do. Can you imagine if we did: Everyone would think 'hey look at that jerk! We just lost our __________ and all he can think about is the money it is making for him." I though that was a point well taken. While I am still usually the only person at a funeral smiling, I try to hide behind Seans shoulder so that it is not blaring at the families. But I do still stick out!
Another cause for trouble is picture time! Especailly when I was young and beautiful---while it was over 10 years ago, it is a true story, they were always trying to get those serious shots. " "Look lovingly into his eyes, don't smile so big, don't laugh, think about something really deep and meaningful," were always the things that were said to me. The few serious photos they tried to take of me were a joke, because you would see Sean looking so sweet and sexy, and you would see me with a smurk from trying to be serious, but that smile just came anyway.
Yet another time for trouble is when you are walking into labor with a big smile on your face, and say "I think I am in labor!" Nurses response: "Oh no you are not honey, trust me, you would not be smiling." The reason for the problem: They find out you are dilated to almost a 5 and when they ask if you want an epidural, and you say "do it get much worse than this?" they say "Oh no honey, You are past the worst part of it. There is nothing more exhilarating then knowing that you gave birth to your child without any pain meds." Ya, that is such a lie. After 4 hours of pushing a transverse baby, using the vaccume multiple times, forcepts, adding an extra obstatrition I was begging him "Please, can't you do anything for me!?!" The only thing that got that kid delivered was when the doctors started telling nurses we would need an emergancy Csection. I was so angry, that after all I went thru, there was no way I was having surgery to boot, so I pushed that baby out, I did not care what the ramifications would be to my body!
Lesson 4. Believe it or not, I did try out for drill team in Junior High. I tried so hard, and I really hoped to be chosen, but many 12 year olds lack the coordination to move, smile and count at the same time. While other girls moved and counted, I smiled and moved, but without the counting, you end up moving like a monkey. Dang! No drill team for me. boo.
My final curse of smiling: Let me begin by saying I love to sing. In my head I am a really good singer. Since I have only ever been in the basic choirs, I have never had anything say "she is a really good singer, what a beautiful voice." As a child and teen, I would sit in my room for hours singing various songs. I would sing my heart out in the car and shower when no one was around. I would make recordings of myself singing, and listen to them to see if they were really good. I also loved musicals, my favorites being Joseph and the Amazing technicolored dream coat and Fiddler on the Roof. My Junior year of high school, Poky put on the play Fiddler on the roof! I was elated. I had seen that show a hundred times, and sung to it a million times. No one could be more qualified than me. I was pretty sure that I would have my pick of leading female parts. We had to prepare an audition piece. All the girls did 'matchmaker', and the choir and drama directors were very sick of that, but that was not a problem for me because I chose 'Anatevka' a song about the poor families being driven out of their homes and community. I practiced and practiced, and come tryouts I was prepared and confident! I sang with all my heart, and I didn't feel one bit nervous. When the results were posted, I knew that noone could have wanted it more than me, so I looked at the list, and moved lower, and lower, and reached the bottom. My name was not even on the list. I was not even one of the 60 townspeople, or a person who was on stage to move props! I knew this had to be a mistake, so I asked one of my good friends Eric, who worked closely with the drama teacher and was at all of the auditions. "Why did I not get in?" He though back to the auditions and chuckled. Soon his chuckles turned into a belly laugh, then a belly laugh that hurts. When he could catch his composure (and breat) he said "Michelle, you were so funny! You were up there just as happy as could be, Huge smile, singing, just like this was the best day of your life. (Sounded like a compliment to me.) He contuned: "But Michelle, that song is about the worst day of peoples lives. They are being driven from their homes, and they already were living under such awful circumstances, and things would only be getting worse. You totally should have been so lonely and bewildered that the words could hardly come to you!" "Oh," I said. "So basically I was too happy?" "Yep." he said. "Well, if it matters, I am not feeling to great now." I said. I think that was too little too late, because the play went on without me.
So, while I did learn these lessons, I am afraid I am one of those people who has to learn them a few times. I still cannot be serious for photos, and I go into the doctors in a lot of pain with a big smile on my face and say "I'm doing pretty good". I have not tried to dance or participate in a musical since that, and I still smile at funerals. I honestly don't think that will ever change, but unless you are in for a good laugh, If the Mystique ever puts on "Joseph" or "Fiddler" you probably should not tell me. I have pictured myself doing that, and I have added to my list of things I would like to do "Play Mrs. Hannigan from Annie--you know Carol Burnett played that roll." She has the best songs, my favorite being the one she sings to Daddy Warbucks, and I just LOVE Daddy Warbucks! Well once again, I have revealed too much of myself. Hope it was amusing, and that posterity finds it useful somehow.

ETHAN

Tonight we made an awesome observation that pretty much cemented the name Ethan Sean Gordon. Ethan is composed of Each of the kids names.
Emily
naTHAn
jaroN

Can you believe how that worked! We still have 10 weeks, so anything can change, but I am getting the feeling that this may be right.

Ethan is a biblical name meaning strong and firm. (Makes me nervous as a teenager, but one thing I have learned is that if you teach them well as a child, you have less to worry about when they are teens because they are well rooted, and don't give into peer pressure as easily.

I am feeling good about this. That is exciting.

Doing better

So I am doing a lot better now. My dad called, and I vented to him. After an earful he pretty much told me to grow up and that I had way too much to do to worry about anything other then myself, Sean, Nate, Jaron, and Emily. (I am sure that the baby is considered an extention of me. hehe) BTW: we are leaning toward the name Ethan. As Emily puts it "It's the only name we all can agree on!" I think only a few people can get away with telling you to "grow up" (spouse and parents) without it getting you angry.
Luckily after that part of the talk, he gave me plenty of encouragement, reminding me "you are doing a great job, for whatever reason you are being challenged now, it will precede a blessing." I hope he is right, and for the moment, that is what I am holding to, and praying that I will be strong, and healthy, and that I can be a source of strength for my family. So I am signing off, so that I can go hug my husband :)

Readers beware!!!!

Anyone who has talked with me knows that one of my strengths is perhaps my biggest weakness: I have a big mouth that pretty much spews out whatever I am thinking with very little disgression. I should find a politically correct way to vent, but I say it plain, and hope that the listener will be able to figure out why it was said. SO.....If you precede, do so with caution, this is my journal, and if you are too nervous to deal with it, then please, don't read it.
My first question that isn't a question: If you truly are in need of something, but no body can or will do anything to help you, Is it worth stating? I think not. Those who really care will just feel bad that they cannot help you, and those who don't care will just have dirt on you to talk to others about. So No, I don't think you should share. BUT, I do think that it should be vented. You can vent to a caring friend or family member over the phone or lunch, or you can vent by writing it. You may choose to write it down and then throw it away, or you can preserve it for posterity, or you can be an open book so that other people who may read it can think "Hey, I can relate to that!" Well, I guess I am putting myself out there in hopes that as I heal, others will reap some benefit as well.
A lot of spiritual meetings or athletics training will talk about how wonderful the lesson of endurance is. I am sure it is great after the fact, but while you are enduring, it totally sucks. It feels so overpowering, that you just think I cannot go thru this a be a better person, It is totally bringing out the worst in me! I should not think this way, but I think that sometimes the hardest time is when everything seems so good. I live in a beautiful home, nice neighborhood, wonderful husband with adorable smart kids, we are all healthy. What in the heck could I possible be discouraged about? I am lucky to not be dealing with a divorce, sick children, living in a dangerous situation, etc. Well hey!!!!! I want to know the same thing!!!!! REALLY!!! What the heck could I feel discouraged about!
As I sit in my seemingly perfect world, I think: I feel lonely. How can that be. In an hour I may feel like I have a million friends. How can such extreme feelings change so quickly. I had a dream last night that a church member contacted me who wanted to come over for her church calling, and I said to her: "No thanks! I go to church and sit by myself, My children have been mistreated, and the only people who talk to my husband are previous friends.....I am lonely at church, so why don't you just visit with me there!" I feel shocked at my dream, but I realize that is how I feel. I know that people are busy and have thier own families to take care of, but sometime I just can't believe how isolated I feel.
When we moved here I felt such energy. It seemed great that there were so many freedoms for the kids. It seemed great that there were so many church members, and so many good people. Now I long for the days in my first neighborhood of "newly wed and nearly dead", (so rude I know!) But we were needed. I had to do my calling (or 3) because there was so much need, and not enough people. I knew my neighbors, because they were out gardening and mowing lawns and sitting on the porch. Now I wonder if there is a magic neighborhood ferry, because you never see your neighbors, and if you do, they are busy visiting with someone else.
Now I know that I am not totally innocent here. Perhaps my personality has changed. I look back and realize: "Wow, it was a year ago that I hit my head and started getting these headaches. I have hardly left my home since then, and I have not invited people to my home since then. I have rarely made it to church, not volunteered at the school. I have not done my callings, and when I have been invited to events, I have only been able to make it about 20% of the time." So yes, it does appear that I have changed. And now I am the person who sits alone, rather than the person who moves to sit with someone, and last time I cried in public it was the new person who comforted me, but my heart is the same. I would much rather prefer to be the person who comforts that the person who needs comforted, and it is rare when I am the person who extends the hand of service, but I do still love and care for and pray for the needs of others that I am aware of.
When Sean lost his job, our home teacher came and visited us. It was very reassuring, and we have a couple of really sweet friends who have expressed love and concern for us, and we know that we have been in peoples prayers. That means so much to us, and I know that we have been blessed from it. When started getting my headaches last year, we had help with meals and with our children, and we did feel fellowship from that. With the recent headaches we have again recieved help from friends and family, and it is so wonderful. Perhaps I am just combining my frustration of my headaches and guilt of the lack of what I can do and placing it where I should not. I just do feel very frustrated with my situation.
How can I feel my importance, and help my family to realize theirs? Where are we going to be in 6 -12 months physically and spiritually? Am I where I am supposed to be, or did selfish desires bring me to a place where I cannot be who I need to be? Will I ever be the person I was or the person I can be? These are sincere questions. Where do I find the answers, and will I find them before I do harm? It has been a rough day, and it is only 3:00. I hope to find peace, and I need to pull myself together before my family comes home. I am sure that my next entry will be full of optimism and gratitude, but I guess it can't always be sunshine and butterflies, right!?!

Emily's Prayer

Yesterday I was in my room with yet another day of headaches. Nate and Jaron were having some friends over for a Friday the 13th party, and I wanted to talk to Sean before the kids came. They were in the kitchen getting ready to eat, and it was Emily's turn for prayer. It went pretty much like this:

Dear Heavenly Father,
We are thankful for this day. Please bless that we can have a good day. Please bless that we will have a great day. Help us to have a good day. Thank you for dinner. Please bless mommy that she will feel better. Please bless that the baby can be good while he is inside her. Please bless that he will be good when he comes out, and that he will be good inside her and not kick and hurt her. Thank you for this day. In the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.

Now I think that was a pretty great prayer!

Yeah! 2 days without killer headaches

I don't want to jinx myself, but I have gone 2 days without killer headaches that last all day! I have not been headache free, but I would say the bad ones have not lasted more than 2 hours at a time, so I have been able to function. 3 days in a row I have prepared meals for my family. For me that is huge! Granted day1 was crockpot stew, Day 3 was grilled cheese and leftover stew, BUT Day 2 was Fettuccini Alfredo, garlic bread, green beans, and something else! PLUS each day we have been able to get the dishes done, Kitchen and family room cleaned by 6-7 giving us time to play and read before bedtime! Today I made cookies for Nates Lego team, and the kids to scouts on time!!!!! To top it all off I did 2 hours of homework with Jaron. I have not yelled or swore once (I know I totally shouldn't admit that, but come on when you are in constant pain for a long time you get a little worn down, and sometimes the cuss words fly.)

Dianne has been a real help to us the last few weeks when times have been really hard, and Melody brought us a pizza on night when otherwise Nate would have fixed us PB&Js again (something no 10 year old should have to do on a regular basis!), so I do feel so greatful to them, along with gma and gpa bringing soup and lasagna a couple times, Royce gettting us Subway, and mom picking up TacoBell. Thank you so much for wonderful family and friends, It has been lonely having to be in my room with a migraine knowing that my kids are alone with only a TV and a dog, not knowing if I would be able to come down that day or not. Poor Sean, he has had to worry about finances, work, and entertaining kids and taking care of a sick wife, yet he has been so good to me. He is truly my best friend, and I am glad that he is my eternal companion! Thanks to for such wonderful kids. They are so loving to me and so forgiving of my MANY weaknesses! I feel so blessed.........

That's a doosey

Nate came home so happy today. I was sitting on the couch, and he hopped up on it by me, and did a face plant into the windowsill! I gave him Tylenol, a cool washcloth and a bag of ice. He watched a show, and then was ready to get on with the day. He is pretty tired tonight, but he is a real trooper!

Vote Nate 4 President!!!

Tuesday night was a great night! We found out that Nate was voted Mr. Halls 5th grade class president! (Yay!) He needed to prepare his handouts. He used his own money, and decided that many people like butterfingers, so after a quick visit to the dollar store, we were prepared to make 72 handouts. (Thing have changed since I ran for treasurer in Elementary---I am dating mysel--We did not have a computer in our home, so each invitation was handwritten and colored---It took FOREVER!!!) Now, with modern technology (and 3 kids) we whipped them out in no time!

We played up the term "Nate is Great!" Friday the 5th graders met together to hear the speeches. Nate did all his posters and his speech completly on his own, so it was so neat to see him read it. I loved seeing the confidence he has in himself, and it was really funny to see him joke around with his classmates! I was so proud of him!

Halloween 2009

Thank Heavens for Sean. Our poor children would miss out on so much if it wasn't for him! The last 2 weeks my headaches have been in full force. We typically try to make the whole day special for the kids. We like to get the Jack-o-lantern pizzas and breadsticks and watch movies. The last couple years our tradition is to get together with the Ellis, Ramseys and Hardys and enjoy soups and breads together and then let the kids go off trick or treating in the neighborhood.

Once again my fun plans for Halloween were destroyed by yet another headache! The Hardys had invited us over, and try as I may I could not get it together enough to go. So I spent a portion of the night crying in the bathroom as my family was out with friends building memories, sharing good company, and good food! POOR ME!!!!

It is obvious that I did not have a role in the costuming (even though they did look great). I am a no blood, no mask, nothing scary or morbid Halloweener, That didn't fly for the boys this year. Oh well, I guess I was fighting another battle.

The kids get LOADED with candy. I am one of those moms who try to let the kids control thier candy first, then when they can't I step in, and if they fight me about that, then I inherit it, or the garbage can inherits it. My famous words in the candy war: "No way, if you are going to fight about it it is gone! I will not let my home be held captive by a bag of candy!" Then for dramatical effect I take the bucket and dump the whole thing in the big garbage can.

Perhaps I should have went into DRAMA!!!!! hehe

Countdown to baby brother!

Sean and I put these together for the kids today. They are so excited for the arrival of the baby, and with me being so sick, we thought this would be a great way for the kids to keep track of the pregnancy progress. The note says:

Welcome baby brother!
Directions: Eat one (1)
candy per day. When
the bottle is finished,
baby brother will be here!

Baby Watch

Interested in pregnancy? Read about being

10 weeks pregnant, 20 weeks pregnant,

30 weeks pregnant and 40 weeks pregnant.

Yikes, it spread!

I don't think I overdid the caffine, but it was the weekend, I was alone with the kids, and I did eat a banana chocolate chip muffin.

Yes, this is my eye!!!

So for the last 2 days I have been really sick. I have thrown up harder than I have in a couple of years. Today, I broke a blood vessel in my eye! Apparently it is not that uncommon, and can happen when you sneeze, but it is still the weirdest thing I have seen! Yikes! BTW--It doesn't hurt, I can't even feel it, but it sure is ugly!

I hate to admit it, BUT....

So last night at 2:00 I was struggling with yet another migraine, thinking that I must be the only person in the world doing this at this time, thinking "I am a pretty weird person", so I was thinking about many of my weird quirks, and thought it might be fun to add up, so: here goes:

1. Costco hamburger is really lean---I kind of like meat with a little more fat in it. It is easier to make small when making spaghetti and tacos, and the meatloaf is not so dry.
2. Yes, I have eaten a whole pie: took 3 days, but I did it all by myself.
3. I love the smell of the soap at hospitals. It reminds me of having my babies.
4. I write dates on a calendar, and then never look at it again.
5. I don't really like to talk on the phone: I think I have phone ADD, I can't pay attention to the other person.
6. I have never liked to run, NEVER! But sometimes my body aches to run.
7. I don't like candy with peanuts.
8. I have pulled a hair from my forehead that was about 6 inches! I swear it totally grew overnight.
9. I make the best cream soups (potatoe bacon cheddar, and clam chowder), but my broth soups are terrible.
10. I have pretended to not smell my stinky baby in an effort to get out of changing a messy diaper, and yes I have pretended to be asleep to avoid cleaning vomit in the middle of the night.
11. I fold laundry REALLY good---I am truly amazing!
12. I try to get to the best of my kids candy before they see it after trick or treating, Nate and Jaron have caught on, but I may have another year to get away with it with Emily.
13. If we get a plate of goodies (like from neighbors) and the kids don't know I will hide them and eat them myself.
14. I despise cleaning toliets!
15. My 5th grader reads way better than me......has for a few years now.
16. I have written my 3rd graders math answers and gotten them wrong.
17. I have been caught adjusting my pantyhose in the hall of the church by the entire bishopric, and all I could do is laugh.
18. I have tied my toddlers shoes on the wrong foot without noticing. When it was noticed, I blamed it on them.
19. I love a bargain, it is hard to pass up the bargain even when I want something else WAY more!!!
20. Usually when I eat at Buddys I am in a rebellious mood: I know that it will make me sick and stinky, but I just don't care!

Okay, I feel quite exposed, but I wanted to say it when I was willing to admit to my issues. If you ask me about it later, I may still deny it.

Jarons Award

Tonight was Parent Teacher Confrences. I am so proud of both boys. They are doing so great, and they are good kids to boot!
Jarons teachers remarked that he is so good that they never have to worry about where to seat him, that he is good wherever he is. Of course I am beaming with pride. On they way home he says to me "Mom, do you know why I am so quiet in class?" "Because you are a good boy," I reply. "No." He said. "I am trying to get the award for being shyest in class!"
All I can say is I am speechless. Should you discourage a kid from his goals? Hmm.

A Charlie Eye

As you may know we are the proud owners of a cocker spaniel. His name is Charlie. (The kids call him Charles for short--haha) He is a pest, but we do really love him.
We have been Golden Retriever owners in the past, and I have to say that aside from being large, and all that accompanies that, they are quite easy animals to own.
Cockers are pretty easy too.
We may not be premier pet owners, because first of all we are kid owners, so while he is not a pampered show dog, I think he knows he is loved, and a part of our family.
Apparently cockers are supposed to be shaved on top and curly on the bottom. Well, Charlie is curley everywhere, including the callic on top of his head. Cockers should be pretty easily recognized as such, but I am constantly asked "What kind of dog his he?" When I say cocker, I hear things like "Really?!? I have had cockers my whole life, and I have never seen one that looks like him."
While we haven't had ear problems, because of his floppy ears, they tend to get ear infections quite often, so you should hold them strait out or on top of his head so that they can get air. CRAZY!
The other huge issue with cockers is that they have 3 (yes 3) eyelids. Often this 3rd eyelid, which make tears, with pop out creating a cherry eye.
Last month while Sean was gone for 2 weeks, Charlie developed Cherry Eye. When I called the vet, they said it is purely a cosmetic issue, but to bring him right in for $400 surgery--ya right! So I found out on the internet that you could massage it in. I tried and Nate tried to no avail. By the time Sean got home it had been out too long, so now he had a permant Cherry Eye.
It is not quite as obvious now, but at first it was so red you could see it from afar. Charlie had gotten loose and loves to visit the neighbors, so he went down to visit the Hancocks. They are so sweet to Charlie. The oldest girl said to Emily "What happened to his eye?"
Emily replied so matter of factly "OH, HE'S GOT A CHARLIE EYE!!!"

ChiaObama

I don't know why this is so funny to me. If you watch the commercials they say that they have combined 2 great American Icons.

REALLY?????

Are you kidding me?????

I am not an Obama fan, but is it really an honor to be immortalized by a Chia Plant?

Oh well, I get a hoot out of it each time I see the commercial.

Ultrasound

Wednesday morning we were able to have the BIG ultrasound. We were so excited to find out if we were adding a little boy or a little girl to our family. The boys were all in agreement that they wanted a boy. Emily and I finally agreed on something, and that was that we wanted a little girl. There are several babies due in the ward around the same time, of those I knew that the Hardys had Luke, Ellis' are having a boy, and Ramseys are having a little girl.
Over 3 years ago I figured that we were finished having babies, so I gathered all my boy clothes that Jaron had grown out of, and everything Emily had outgrown, bedding, blankets, toys, and carseats, and filled my garage and invited over everyone I could think of who may have use for anything, and said "take what you can use!"
A couple weeks ago I was with Anne looking at her cute little girl clothes, so I came home and dug thru my keepsake bin and found that I had in fact a few girl clothes left. That got me thinking, "Oh, I remember when Emily wore this: It would be so fun to have another little girl."
A week or two prior to this I had a dream that we were having a boy, but I figured "I am only right about half the time, so maybe it will be a girl." I know that sounds funny, of course I would only be right 50% of the time: It is either a boy or a girl, but I really have been right. Nate and Emily I knew what they were, I was wrong about Jaron, I had convinced myself that he would be a girl.
We were going thru the ultrasound, and at first she couldn't see the gender because the baby's legs were up over the head with the feet crossed. Then later when she checked, the legs were closed tightly and tucked under the bum. We really thought that we would go thruout the pregnancy without knowing, but then the tech said "Okay, try to go to the bathroom, and the baby may move positions."
Then as soon as she put the little monitor back on my belly she said "This baby is a BOY!" "Yep, nobody could talk me out of that, he is definatly a boy!" Sean and I both smiled, and Emily said, "No, I don't want another brother, I want a sister!" We laughed, because she was tired and grumpy, and we reassured her that she will love him when he comes. "The only way I want a brother is if we name him Lucas!", she said. Needless to say it was a long ride home for her.
As the afternoon wore on she got more and more used to it. When the boys got home the first thing they said is "Is it a boy or a girl?" Sean and I had blown up blue balloons with a blue "It's a boy" sign that we put in thier room. We let them go in to get the news. We asked the kids what we should name the baby. Jaron said "Max." Nathan said Ethan. Emily said Travis-----What??? I thought you wanted Lucas! No, now she wants Travis! Girls--So emotional!!!
So we are thrilled that we are being blessed with a boy! Now, to find a name......

Life in general

It has been a kind of crazy life! I have been quite sick with this pregnancy, and I was thinking, man, it has been almost a year since I have felt well! Last year I was dealing with hitting my head and migraines, and now I am dealing with pregnancy and migraines.
I fear that I am not handling my trials very well. Unfortunatly I have had to depend on Sean and Nate a lot for household responsibilities. To top it off, I have not been able to make it to all church meetings for a few months, and any for a few weeks!
It is crazy, the kids are back in school again. Summer just flew by. I did not go camping with the family, and the family only got to go once.
The economy has slowed down fairly dramatically. We have taken mandatory time off of work, and are currently laid off and on an on call basis. This pay period will not be too bad, as Sean was gone 12 days, home 2, and gone 4 more, that brings its own challenges, but we are greatful for the work. Other times, you may only get 1 day in 2 weeks, so you just make the most of what there is to offer.
Luckily, Sean was able to train for the bus garage, so when he is not on call for the AVCenter, he can be available for the bus garage. He is such a wonderful hardworking man. I really love and appreciate all he does for me and the kids. I must have done something good in heaven to deserve him!
Nate is loving his new teacher and classmates. I think he likes being the big man on campus. That is good, because next year is Jr. High! YIKES!! He of course is cruising thru the lessons, but luckily he is doing well socially which is every mothers desire.
Jaron is in a great class. His biggest complaint is that he is "girl-locked" meaning his desk is surrounded by girls! I figure if any body can deal with that it is him. (He is kind of a ladies man!--he is so cute!)
Emily has been my little buddy. She loves playing game cube, jumping off the deck onto the tramp, and when I am sick, she brings me water and crackers! When I get my migraines, I cannot watch the kids, so I bring them inside, and if it is just her with me, I have her come in my room and watch TV while I wait for it to pass. She is such a sweetheart! I cannot imagine life without her or her brothers or Sean. I do feel truly blessed.
She got to start a new preschool this year. It is taught by the mothers, and it is just kids in the neighborhood. It is a lot of fun. I will end up teaching 5 weeks (10 times) this year. It is a lot of work to keep 7 4 and 5 year olds happy, but it is good. I totally could not do it everyday, unless I got a boatload of extra energy!
We get to find out the sex of the baby tomorrow! We are thrilled. Emily and I are hoping for a girl, and the boys are hoping for a boy! I know that when we find out it will be like we always wanted a (whatever it is!) .

Our names we are thinking are:

Girl
Brynlee
Rhylan
McKenna
Laurel
Lauren

Boy
Jonah
Jonas
Elijah
Ethan

We thought Nate would be an Andrew or Hunter. On the way to the hospital we were talking about names and thought, those don't seem quite right. Then we came up with Nathan.
We were pretty sure Jaron would be Jaron, but we also liked Jacob and Joshua.
Emily was going to be Rebekkah or Elizabeth. When I think of a Rebekkah, I think of a beautiful girl with black hair. We knew she would be beautiful, but with Sean and I, we also knew she would not have black hair. For Elizabeth, my aunt Lani chimed in and said, "Oh no, she will be teased and called Lizzie Gordon! I had not heard the saying Lizzie Borden about a girl who killed her parents, but I figure life is too tough, why add one more thing to be teased about! PLUS what parent wants to risk it! haha Just kidding! When she came to us so sweet and delicate, we knew she needed a name to match. While we had an Emily in the family, we went ahead with the name anyway--little would we know that 4 years later we would be neighbors! My grandma Phelps was so excited: "You named her after my mother! I always loved that name!" I was surprized, luckily my response was "YES!"
I guess to make a long story short, 2 of the 3 names of our kids were not even on the list until we were at the hospital, so while we do have a list, the baby still could be named anything!
Well this has been fun, but I am starting to feel the beginnings of my next headache! Shoot!

Being the mom

One thing I love most about being the mom is hearing the funny things that kids say. I know that Jaron has probably been working on this recent one for a few months, but just now got the idea perfected......
Yesterday we were talking and he said "Mom, I am going to be a bounty hunter when I grow up." (Yes, I admit I occasionally watch "Dog, the bounty Hunter".) "When I am a Bounty Hunter, I am going to wear my hair like Taylors (Bret"s son, our nephew, Taylor has the typical teenage boy shag cut) so that it kind of flips up all around. And I am going to have a little bit of hair here (he points to his chin). And I am going to wear tennis shoes, and gold chains, and leather and stuff!
I had to smile because I know that he has been observing details to see what is cool. Not exactly every mothers dream, but it did bring a pretty good laugh!

Just 1 example of why I am crazy and tired...

I have been quoted as saying that Jaron is the fun lover in our family, and I do stand by that statement. I also have commented that he tends to have a hard time focusing his attention. Today has been NO deviation of either of those comments, I only will mention an example of one. After a LONG HARD day I was getting ready to go upstairs to relax and watch TV.
While I slipped my Pjs on Jaron had managed to wrangle in 2 friends into his bedroom. I could hear the giggling, so I opened the door to find: Nate, Jaron, Emily, 2 friends, the dog, the 2 frogs (1 on Jarons head, the other on the floor being batted at with the dogs paw!)**Pick him him---NOW there are 2 frogs on Jarons head***and the lid with 36 crickets is off! Nate was getting ready to go downstairs to use the computer, so I thought to myself "Can Jaron really handle this chaos by himself?" I quickly answered "Heck NO! I couldn't handle it all at once!", so I made Nate take the dog with him, one of the kids cover the 36 crickets, Jaron take the frog off his head and put it in the cage, "Where is the other frog?" I guess in the chaos we lost a frog!!!! GREAT!!!
It wouldn't be nearly such a big deal if they would have kept their room clean today, but no, here I am moving beds, pulling out laundry and books. I find it odd that mom can work for an hour and a half sweating moving beds, finding loads of laundry, etc, while the kids, play games and watch movies, yet in thier minds when they walk in an hour later and magically "see" it, it is them who FOUND it. In this case it is great, I have yet to touch those frogs, I wear a winter glove when I have to touch them :)
I know I sound grumpy, but I actually think it is more funny and just wanted to show how ironic many things are while you are raising kids is. While it is really great, it is not all butterflies and roses!

Nate earns his Bear

We are so proud of Nate! Aside from being a great kid, Nate is a great student, a good friend, a nice brother, and a great boy scout! His Cub Scout uniform is filled with awards, and he has a C filled with academic and sport pins and a belt full of belt loops. He was supposed to get his bear award at the last pack meeting, but Bannock baseball has started, and it was his first game, so it was postponed until April. Nate has been blessed with wonderful scout leaders from the very beginning. Sean and I have not had the opportunity to be his leaders yet, but we have had the opportunity to work with the scouts so that we have been familiar with how the program works, so we know how wonderful it is, how to help him, and who to go to for the help, so we do feel truly blessed.
Ever since Nate was a baby he has shown a real love and interest for nature and the outdoors. While he attended the charter school he was given several opportunities to fulfill many of the requirements in the scout booklet. Living in the west is also a real blessing. Nathan will go far in life. He has a real thirst for knowledge, and the ability to push himself to accomplish his goals. He is truly amazing. What a great example he is to our family. I am so proud of you Nate! Webelos--You have a really good scout coming your way!!!!!

Jarons Babtism

Saturday May 2nd Jaron was babtized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! We are so excited for him. He is so cute. He says "This is the biggest decision of my life." We are very proud of him and know that he will continue to be a great example! We were so blessed to have so many family members come. Bret Kristy Taylor and Grandma Royce were there from the Gordon family. Uncle Eric and Kandi were in Boise, Kandi had to work, and Eric was visiting the kids. Melissa and Jake traveled halfway from Orem, but due to bad weather had to return home. We were thrilled to have grandpa Tbone (he was a witness of the babtism). It snowed in Kemmerer and they had broken pipes, so grandma Gail had to stay and take care of water issues. Uncle TJ and Thomas were finishing up finals at Utah State and were unable to come. Grandma May and Grandpa Tom were celebrating grandmas birthday that day!!! Lane and Carson Clayson came to support Jaron. Carson was originally gettting babtized Saturday as well, but broke his arm on the tramp a couple weeks ago, so he will get babtized in a couple weeks:) We are so lucky to have so many family members in Pocatello. All the Pocatello Gibsons were able to attend: Grandma and Grandpa (Grandpa was the other witness for the babtism. Thank you both so much for the help with the luncheon and everything). Gary and Sandra, Kevin, Kelli, Alex and KariAnn, Karen and Steve, Kendra and Kyler, Paige and Nathan, Kurt, Anita, Sarah, and KayLynn, and of course my mom and Dianne. I love you guys and really appreciate you and your love and support---it was a wonderful day.
There were 7 kids babtized that day! 5 from our ward. It was really special because the kids are really good friends, and they choose not to seperate them to keep groups small, but instead to keep them all together. And it was amazing, because I actually got the best seat I had ever gotten in a babtism! It didn't seem crowded at all! They even kept us together for the confirmations and it was amazing because it was the same thing, no pressure, no rush, just really peaceful!
This next part my grandma will hate, sorry, following the babtism we came to the house and had a luncheon. We thought that potatoe bar would be nice and easy because it is pretty forgiving timewise. Things can just stay warm. We had about 30 guests, and no clue when we would be eating, so this would work perfect. My sweet grandparents offered great help. They had potatoes, so they cleaned and wrapped them, cut onions, browned burger, made a salad, brought pop, sour cream, a relish tray, dessert, there was VERY little I had to do right?!? My only responsibility was to grate cheese and turn on the oven for the potatoes to cook. I asked my grandma when I should turn it on and how high. She said "You don't want it to be undercooked, because then they are not good". "I totally agree---YUCK!!!" I said. I think I stressed her out a bit, because the next morning she called me and said. "I was up all night worrying about those potatoes, and I think you should put them in now at 450!" Now in my mind I knew that was pretty high, especially when I could smell them about 5 minutes later, so I was going to turn them down to 300 when I left for the babtism (knowing that there were 5 kids being babtized from our ward alone!) but of course I FORGOT! When we got home I still forgot. I started getting things put out and arranged, greeting people. I got things all ready, and dududud....Royce cracks out 5 bags of stuff because---she wants to make a couple salads!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! ARRRRR!!! So distract myself and refocus, I check the potatoes. Grandma asks how are they. I get a confused look on my face and say "CRUNCHY".
"Hard?" she questions.
"No. Crunchy." We open the foil to find a wilted burned potatoe that when you crunch it open there is almost nothing in it! hahahaha I start laughing. My grandma is not happy! "This is Awful!"she says. "It's actually kind of funny" I say. "It is NOT funny she says sternly to me. I can't help but smile. I pat her on the back because I know that she is so disappointed. Poor grandma, so sweet, and so much work, and to have it not be perfect. Little did she know that everyone just loved them the way they were. I had so many compliments, but she won't believe me.
That was grandmas frustration, now back to mine: Again, I think she had good intentions....
OK MICHELLE KEEP YOUR COOL!!!! 20 minutes later--me:"Royce can I help you with anything."
45 minutes later: As her bags are in the table, counter, and island....I finally start cleaning her stuff up...Royce:"What are you doing? I need that? me: "I am cleaning up. I have had things ready an hour and I have 30 people here to feed!" Royce: "Well I just wanted to be included in the babtism and bring something too! Noboby tells me anything...." Sean starting to get irritated. I go in the other room.
20 minutes later. My kitchen is a total disaster. Not at all like I planned it. Everyone still eats, it still works out okay (of course not as good as if it was my way lol.) Okay so I have been totally harsh. I really do love Royce. I honestly do get frustrated and upset with you, but I love you and I appreciate the fact that I know that I can always count on your help and support when I need it. You are a wonderful grandma to my children, and I love the encouragement that you give to them, so please forvive me when I loose my patience with you, and know that I will always love you, and I appreciate that I can experience real emotions with you.
Mother in Law Lesson learned there really is more than one way to do things.... The right way (my way) and the wrong way (your way). hehehe. I am so funny. Well this is my blog, If you don't like it, don't read it!
Okay back to a serious note, Thank you so much to everyone who came to Jarons dinner. We appreciate your love and support! We missed those of you who could not make it, but we knew that if circumstance were diffrent you would have been here. Please know that we love you.