Confessions of a natural smiler

To understand this statement you have to understand me. While I have suffered severe headaches this last year, and do not smile as much as I usually do, I am a habitual constant smiler. When I recieve a compliment, it is usually for my smile. When Sean recieves a compliment about me it is usually "Man, your wife sure has a beautiful smile." My uncles friend Poo who owns the local chinese resturaunt says "Michelle, you my very loyal customer, you always have a smile, you look like you haven't got a care in the world!" I tell him it is because I am at his resturaunt, and love his peanut chicken, then he brings me a plate of it to make me smile again! (I love that stroy! but back to the blog!)
I come by my smile honestly, and for that I am greatful. My dad is a natrual smiler too. By the age of 4 he would occasionally play in the band with brothers and cousins. He loves all types of music and that is a love that has been passed on as well. I think that my smile has benefited me in my life, I can think of a couple times it has won me jobs. Applying for my first at ISU Speech Path, as a 18 year old work study, I know that when I was asked about my computer experience and I said "Well I love to play solitare, I think I really teaches you how to use a mouse" probably wasn't what won me the job! hehe
I know I have inherited my smile from my dad. I have 2 brothers from his current marriage. While I have not had the priveldge of straight teeth and braces, You can tell we are brothers and sister because we have the same big smiles, and I would go as far as calling them permagrins! A few years back we all went to an amusement center where everything was dark, except the things that were white were really florescent! It was like being in Alice in Wonderland, and all you could see was 4 Chesshire smiles!
I am proud of my smile, but it has gotten me into trouble a few times. When I worked at the Health Department I occasionally met funeral home directors who came for death certificates. Apparently they only like to work with people who can have a serious face all the time. I asked on of them "I know that death is a sad thing, but why are all you guys always so serious all the time? It makes me nervous!" He smiled a little and said "We are not allowed to smile during work. People don't trust us if we do. Can you imagine if we did: Everyone would think 'hey look at that jerk! We just lost our __________ and all he can think about is the money it is making for him." I though that was a point well taken. While I am still usually the only person at a funeral smiling, I try to hide behind Seans shoulder so that it is not blaring at the families. But I do still stick out!
Another cause for trouble is picture time! Especailly when I was young and beautiful---while it was over 10 years ago, it is a true story, they were always trying to get those serious shots. " "Look lovingly into his eyes, don't smile so big, don't laugh, think about something really deep and meaningful," were always the things that were said to me. The few serious photos they tried to take of me were a joke, because you would see Sean looking so sweet and sexy, and you would see me with a smurk from trying to be serious, but that smile just came anyway.
Yet another time for trouble is when you are walking into labor with a big smile on your face, and say "I think I am in labor!" Nurses response: "Oh no you are not honey, trust me, you would not be smiling." The reason for the problem: They find out you are dilated to almost a 5 and when they ask if you want an epidural, and you say "do it get much worse than this?" they say "Oh no honey, You are past the worst part of it. There is nothing more exhilarating then knowing that you gave birth to your child without any pain meds." Ya, that is such a lie. After 4 hours of pushing a transverse baby, using the vaccume multiple times, forcepts, adding an extra obstatrition I was begging him "Please, can't you do anything for me!?!" The only thing that got that kid delivered was when the doctors started telling nurses we would need an emergancy Csection. I was so angry, that after all I went thru, there was no way I was having surgery to boot, so I pushed that baby out, I did not care what the ramifications would be to my body!
Lesson 4. Believe it or not, I did try out for drill team in Junior High. I tried so hard, and I really hoped to be chosen, but many 12 year olds lack the coordination to move, smile and count at the same time. While other girls moved and counted, I smiled and moved, but without the counting, you end up moving like a monkey. Dang! No drill team for me. boo.
My final curse of smiling: Let me begin by saying I love to sing. In my head I am a really good singer. Since I have only ever been in the basic choirs, I have never had anything say "she is a really good singer, what a beautiful voice." As a child and teen, I would sit in my room for hours singing various songs. I would sing my heart out in the car and shower when no one was around. I would make recordings of myself singing, and listen to them to see if they were really good. I also loved musicals, my favorites being Joseph and the Amazing technicolored dream coat and Fiddler on the Roof. My Junior year of high school, Poky put on the play Fiddler on the roof! I was elated. I had seen that show a hundred times, and sung to it a million times. No one could be more qualified than me. I was pretty sure that I would have my pick of leading female parts. We had to prepare an audition piece. All the girls did 'matchmaker', and the choir and drama directors were very sick of that, but that was not a problem for me because I chose 'Anatevka' a song about the poor families being driven out of their homes and community. I practiced and practiced, and come tryouts I was prepared and confident! I sang with all my heart, and I didn't feel one bit nervous. When the results were posted, I knew that noone could have wanted it more than me, so I looked at the list, and moved lower, and lower, and reached the bottom. My name was not even on the list. I was not even one of the 60 townspeople, or a person who was on stage to move props! I knew this had to be a mistake, so I asked one of my good friends Eric, who worked closely with the drama teacher and was at all of the auditions. "Why did I not get in?" He though back to the auditions and chuckled. Soon his chuckles turned into a belly laugh, then a belly laugh that hurts. When he could catch his composure (and breat) he said "Michelle, you were so funny! You were up there just as happy as could be, Huge smile, singing, just like this was the best day of your life. (Sounded like a compliment to me.) He contuned: "But Michelle, that song is about the worst day of peoples lives. They are being driven from their homes, and they already were living under such awful circumstances, and things would only be getting worse. You totally should have been so lonely and bewildered that the words could hardly come to you!" "Oh," I said. "So basically I was too happy?" "Yep." he said. "Well, if it matters, I am not feeling to great now." I said. I think that was too little too late, because the play went on without me.
So, while I did learn these lessons, I am afraid I am one of those people who has to learn them a few times. I still cannot be serious for photos, and I go into the doctors in a lot of pain with a big smile on my face and say "I'm doing pretty good". I have not tried to dance or participate in a musical since that, and I still smile at funerals. I honestly don't think that will ever change, but unless you are in for a good laugh, If the Mystique ever puts on "Joseph" or "Fiddler" you probably should not tell me. I have pictured myself doing that, and I have added to my list of things I would like to do "Play Mrs. Hannigan from Annie--you know Carol Burnett played that roll." She has the best songs, my favorite being the one she sings to Daddy Warbucks, and I just LOVE Daddy Warbucks! Well once again, I have revealed too much of myself. Hope it was amusing, and that posterity finds it useful somehow.