Am I lazy? Crazy? Is everybody like this and just doing a lot better at covering it up? Really, what is normal? Is there a normal day. Normal routines for stay at home moms. How much pain and confusion is in a normal part of a day. Should I be pushing past this, or seeking help for it. Do I hold my baby too much really. How bad can that really be? My car and my kitchen floor are both dirty. Which one should I worry about more. Should I always worry about that one more? Should I know the answers to these questions.
I honestly don't even know how to begin my days, because my days are filled with these questions. I love to write, but my mind goes in so many directions, that I end up writing a novel just to tell a little joke. Oh well. I do hope that inspite of my many weaknesses I can be a good mom to my kids and a good wife to my sweetheart. I feel stress, saddness, and confusion more often than I would like, but I really hope to be able to convey my love for them to them. I also really hope I can share my testimony with them. I do not have a strong mighty spiritual presence, but I do have a deep love for the savior and heavenly father. I love that of all his titles he chooses to be our father. That is always the way I think of him. The love of a child for thier father. I feel his love, and know it is given freely to me. I think of Jesus Christ as my savior and Redeemer who loves me and gave great sacrifice so that I could return to live with them in heaven. I have great respect, love, appreciation, and a desire to be like him.
I know that my family (All of them is a gift) to me. Sometimes it is a challenge to force me to grow. My weaknesses are exploited, I must be humbled, and can then move on. Most of the time, they just soften me with thier love. They lead me kindly and lovingly and inspire me to be more. I need to be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, granddaughter, everything. Tonight my prayer is that I can do more of what thou has blessed me to do.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Memories of Grandma May Call Phelps
Memories of my Grandma, her home and her sense of humor
Everyone in Pocatello knows of someone who has lived in Soda Springs. When I would meet people, I would assume that everyone would know my family members. Often people would know my grandma. “Oh, she was my lunch lady,” or “Was she the pretty Hawaiian lady!” I was proud to be her granddaughter, and loved the fact that people not only knew her, but also respected her.
As a girl, she would always make silk nightgowns for me and my cousin Danielle. They were the best, because they were so soft and made me feel pretty. To top it all off I would have one in red, blue, peach, green, cream, almost every color a girl could ever want.
Her skills were not limited to sewing. She is famous in my book for her chocolate covered cherries. They are the best in the whole world. As far as I know, nobody else can make them like her. Perhaps this is because of her recipes. I once dropped in and she had fresh bread. It tasted so good, and I had never seen anyone make homemade bread. I desired this skill, so I asked for the recipe. She did not have one! It was all in her head. “Oh, you need some flour and yeast, and a little bit of salt….oh, and some butter, and…” Needless to say, I still do not know how to make her bread.
In her home, I remember getting to play with the toys in the closet in the hall. I remember the birthday list hanging by the phone. I remember the oil rain lamp in the living room, and lying by the piano hearing my cousins and uncles play. I loved to spin on the kitchen chairs that still had the plastic on them. I loved the get drinks of water in the little blue kitchen cups.
She was always tickled about a new craft she had discovered. Taking old jewels and making a Christmas tree. Turning dollar bills into little shirts or rings. Taking a wash cloth and dish cloth and giving it as a gift of a “washer and dryer.” Giving a birthday card with the face of a $2 bill on top to trick you and saying I wish it could have been a hundred. When I was baptized, she crocheted me a duck that pooped out jelly beans.
My cousin Thad is about a week younger than me. It was always so funny because my birthday card was usually late always saying “Oops I got your birthday and Thads mixed up again this year.”
At family reunions, there was always a surprise for the kids. One year she made matching shirts for the boys. Another year she made “quillows”: lap quilts that you could fold into a pillow! FYI- I still have my quillow.
Family reunions were a good time. We rented the clubhouse outside of town. Aside from meals, a highlight was playing card games, the family talent show, milk can dinners, swimming, tennis, riding the pony, walks with Aunt Nancy, and one year we even had a pop machine!
It was always fun to “perform” for grandma, because everything I did was always so great to her. She loved all forms of music and was often singing a Disney or church song. A highlight to me was when she sang “I only have eyes for you” to my grandpa for their 50th Anniversary. She dressed up like a potato and would throw “eyes” at him.
It was awesome to go over to the school and play in the playground. During the winter we would even go sledding over there. Thanksgivings were always held at the school. It was always so fun to explore the school, use the gym mats, and of course play with the floor scooters!
I hear that she stole the show as Bloody Mary in the town play South Pacific. She was often preparing relief society lessons, or for luncheons with the Daughters of the Pioneers. What a great example of involvedness and service.
I remember at my baby shower her and Aunt Aloma giggling like little girls telling stories about how they were always called “those Call girls, and poor Aloma grew up to become a Hussey!” I loved seeing her laughing like that.
When my little girl was born, we named her Emily. Grandma was thrilled because that was her mothers name. Her mother was actually named Milly Milly. As a girl in Hawaii when she would be playing outside when it was time for dinner her mother would call for her “Eey, Milly Milly!” So when she moved here and was asked her name she referred to herself as Emily.
My children and I were able to visit her about a month ago. She was having a pretty good day, and while she didn’t completely remember all of us, she was so sweet to us, and let us feel so loved and welcome. When she visited my little Emily, she smiled with tears of joy and sweetly said “Emily is my momma’s name!”
What a sweet wonderful blessing it was to have spent time with her. Every memory I have with her is a sweet one, and my only regret was that I did not have more. I am so grateful for a heavenly father who loves me. I am grateful that he has created for us a plan that we can be eternal families. I know that our work is only just beginning here on Earth, and that we have so many blessings yet to come.
My grandma has been a great servant to Heavenly Father, and will continue to do so. I will miss her, but mostly I am happy for her. She will get to be her her “momma”, father, son, siblings, and so many others that she has been missing. Grandpa has been so loving and compassionate to her. What a great example to us all of unselfish love, and she totally deserved it.
My heart is full of gratitude and love. Thank you for being a blessing in my life grandma!
Everyone in Pocatello knows of someone who has lived in Soda Springs. When I would meet people, I would assume that everyone would know my family members. Often people would know my grandma. “Oh, she was my lunch lady,” or “Was she the pretty Hawaiian lady!” I was proud to be her granddaughter, and loved the fact that people not only knew her, but also respected her.
As a girl, she would always make silk nightgowns for me and my cousin Danielle. They were the best, because they were so soft and made me feel pretty. To top it all off I would have one in red, blue, peach, green, cream, almost every color a girl could ever want.
Her skills were not limited to sewing. She is famous in my book for her chocolate covered cherries. They are the best in the whole world. As far as I know, nobody else can make them like her. Perhaps this is because of her recipes. I once dropped in and she had fresh bread. It tasted so good, and I had never seen anyone make homemade bread. I desired this skill, so I asked for the recipe. She did not have one! It was all in her head. “Oh, you need some flour and yeast, and a little bit of salt….oh, and some butter, and…” Needless to say, I still do not know how to make her bread.
In her home, I remember getting to play with the toys in the closet in the hall. I remember the birthday list hanging by the phone. I remember the oil rain lamp in the living room, and lying by the piano hearing my cousins and uncles play. I loved to spin on the kitchen chairs that still had the plastic on them. I loved the get drinks of water in the little blue kitchen cups.
She was always tickled about a new craft she had discovered. Taking old jewels and making a Christmas tree. Turning dollar bills into little shirts or rings. Taking a wash cloth and dish cloth and giving it as a gift of a “washer and dryer.” Giving a birthday card with the face of a $2 bill on top to trick you and saying I wish it could have been a hundred. When I was baptized, she crocheted me a duck that pooped out jelly beans.
My cousin Thad is about a week younger than me. It was always so funny because my birthday card was usually late always saying “Oops I got your birthday and Thads mixed up again this year.”
At family reunions, there was always a surprise for the kids. One year she made matching shirts for the boys. Another year she made “quillows”: lap quilts that you could fold into a pillow! FYI- I still have my quillow.
Family reunions were a good time. We rented the clubhouse outside of town. Aside from meals, a highlight was playing card games, the family talent show, milk can dinners, swimming, tennis, riding the pony, walks with Aunt Nancy, and one year we even had a pop machine!
It was always fun to “perform” for grandma, because everything I did was always so great to her. She loved all forms of music and was often singing a Disney or church song. A highlight to me was when she sang “I only have eyes for you” to my grandpa for their 50th Anniversary. She dressed up like a potato and would throw “eyes” at him.
It was awesome to go over to the school and play in the playground. During the winter we would even go sledding over there. Thanksgivings were always held at the school. It was always so fun to explore the school, use the gym mats, and of course play with the floor scooters!
I hear that she stole the show as Bloody Mary in the town play South Pacific. She was often preparing relief society lessons, or for luncheons with the Daughters of the Pioneers. What a great example of involvedness and service.
I remember at my baby shower her and Aunt Aloma giggling like little girls telling stories about how they were always called “those Call girls, and poor Aloma grew up to become a Hussey!” I loved seeing her laughing like that.
When my little girl was born, we named her Emily. Grandma was thrilled because that was her mothers name. Her mother was actually named Milly Milly. As a girl in Hawaii when she would be playing outside when it was time for dinner her mother would call for her “Eey, Milly Milly!” So when she moved here and was asked her name she referred to herself as Emily.
My children and I were able to visit her about a month ago. She was having a pretty good day, and while she didn’t completely remember all of us, she was so sweet to us, and let us feel so loved and welcome. When she visited my little Emily, she smiled with tears of joy and sweetly said “Emily is my momma’s name!”
What a sweet wonderful blessing it was to have spent time with her. Every memory I have with her is a sweet one, and my only regret was that I did not have more. I am so grateful for a heavenly father who loves me. I am grateful that he has created for us a plan that we can be eternal families. I know that our work is only just beginning here on Earth, and that we have so many blessings yet to come.
My grandma has been a great servant to Heavenly Father, and will continue to do so. I will miss her, but mostly I am happy for her. She will get to be her her “momma”, father, son, siblings, and so many others that she has been missing. Grandpa has been so loving and compassionate to her. What a great example to us all of unselfish love, and she totally deserved it.
My heart is full of gratitude and love. Thank you for being a blessing in my life grandma!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Still, still, still
Nope, not the beautiful Christmas song, but my pregnancy status. Still, still still pregnant. Since my last post, I have decided to go off the medicine that helped stop my contractions. I have been having light contracts since then. I don't know if they are doing any good or not, I hope they are worthwhile, they are sure a pain. They make me feel pretty sick. Sean had a flight come up for today. He is in Canada, but should be home soon. He always makes me feel better.
Yesterday was Nates State Lego Robotics. They did really well. They got a really nice medal. I think they took 2nd in teamwork. There were about 80 teams there, and Nates team was on channel 8 news. It was the first time I have been to ISU Rendevous bldg, it is really nice.
Last night we went to Eric and Kandis to celebrate her birthday.
Well I am cramping bad, so that is all for now! :)
Yesterday was Nates State Lego Robotics. They did really well. They got a really nice medal. I think they took 2nd in teamwork. There were about 80 teams there, and Nates team was on channel 8 news. It was the first time I have been to ISU Rendevous bldg, it is really nice.
Last night we went to Eric and Kandis to celebrate her birthday.
Well I am cramping bad, so that is all for now! :)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Pregnancy Update
This one is good news! hehe Went to the Dr. yesterday. The good and bad news is that I am not dialating or effacing--good because it shows that he isn't coming anytime soon, bad because it could mean a longer labor. He did say that if he doesn't come sooner, that it will be better to be induced in 3 weeks. (Three weeks will be the 25th!) At least I have a little better idea. My blood pressure is "okay", so it is safe for me to continue the pregnancy at this time which will be way better for the baby. Also if we wait till the 25th, we won't need an amnio (a test that checks babys development, and involves a long needle) as you can imagine I am thrilled.
While I did get out for an hour yesterday, I have been continuing my bedrest. Mom and Dianne have been helping me this week while Sean has been gone. We have also still been getting in meals from the ward. Thanks a million! I have been getting a lot of stomach pain, but my headaches are getting less frequent, and less severe, so that has been a real blessing. I have also been blessed with a little brighter attitude which make everyone happier. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and feel the desire to prep the room for the baby. Looking forward to meeting sweet baby Ethan, and watching Sean and the kids form bonds with him (I am already pretty attached to him : ))
Once again, that for all the prayers, they have really gotten us thru. I am so greatful to have positive things to report.
While I did get out for an hour yesterday, I have been continuing my bedrest. Mom and Dianne have been helping me this week while Sean has been gone. We have also still been getting in meals from the ward. Thanks a million! I have been getting a lot of stomach pain, but my headaches are getting less frequent, and less severe, so that has been a real blessing. I have also been blessed with a little brighter attitude which make everyone happier. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and feel the desire to prep the room for the baby. Looking forward to meeting sweet baby Ethan, and watching Sean and the kids form bonds with him (I am already pretty attached to him : ))
Once again, that for all the prayers, they have really gotten us thru. I am so greatful to have positive things to report.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Looking forward to a new year!
Well today is the last day of 2009. It has been pretty uneventful, which I guess is always a good thing. Sean worked yesterday. He did a life flight, and made it home at 5:00 am. I had been having pain under my ribs all night, and I could not go back to bed. I went in for a NST this morning. It was a scheduled one, but I was so glad to go in because I had been having the pain, a headache since Sunday, the chills for 2 days, and to be quite honest I was pretty sick of it all, and needed a good pep talk. There are 3 nurses who are especially great to me: Rhonda, Tammy, and Michelle. When I have them I think "Okay, I can do this another week or two, it will really be helpful for the baby." Thank heaven for great nurses. I also feel thankful that Dr. Jones is cautious with me and the baby. The baby was pretty quiet today, so he ordered a ultrasound that double checked his breathing and movements, and the baby scored perfectly. That was great peace of mind because I have felt so crappy, that I really thought today would be the day. I have been able to carry the baby longer than I thought, so that has been a real relief. I guess the next big milestone for him is 36 weeks.
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