Am I lazy? Crazy? Is everybody like this and just doing a lot better at covering it up? Really, what is normal? Is there a normal day. Normal routines for stay at home moms. How much pain and confusion is in a normal part of a day. Should I be pushing past this, or seeking help for it. Do I hold my baby too much really. How bad can that really be? My car and my kitchen floor are both dirty. Which one should I worry about more. Should I always worry about that one more? Should I know the answers to these questions.
I honestly don't even know how to begin my days, because my days are filled with these questions. I love to write, but my mind goes in so many directions, that I end up writing a novel just to tell a little joke. Oh well. I do hope that inspite of my many weaknesses I can be a good mom to my kids and a good wife to my sweetheart. I feel stress, saddness, and confusion more often than I would like, but I really hope to be able to convey my love for them to them. I also really hope I can share my testimony with them. I do not have a strong mighty spiritual presence, but I do have a deep love for the savior and heavenly father. I love that of all his titles he chooses to be our father. That is always the way I think of him. The love of a child for thier father. I feel his love, and know it is given freely to me. I think of Jesus Christ as my savior and Redeemer who loves me and gave great sacrifice so that I could return to live with them in heaven. I have great respect, love, appreciation, and a desire to be like him.
I know that my family (All of them is a gift) to me. Sometimes it is a challenge to force me to grow. My weaknesses are exploited, I must be humbled, and can then move on. Most of the time, they just soften me with thier love. They lead me kindly and lovingly and inspire me to be more. I need to be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, granddaughter, everything. Tonight my prayer is that I can do more of what thou has blessed me to do.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Memories of Grandma May Call Phelps
Memories of my Grandma, her home and her sense of humor
Everyone in Pocatello knows of someone who has lived in Soda Springs. When I would meet people, I would assume that everyone would know my family members. Often people would know my grandma. “Oh, she was my lunch lady,” or “Was she the pretty Hawaiian lady!” I was proud to be her granddaughter, and loved the fact that people not only knew her, but also respected her.
As a girl, she would always make silk nightgowns for me and my cousin Danielle. They were the best, because they were so soft and made me feel pretty. To top it all off I would have one in red, blue, peach, green, cream, almost every color a girl could ever want.
Her skills were not limited to sewing. She is famous in my book for her chocolate covered cherries. They are the best in the whole world. As far as I know, nobody else can make them like her. Perhaps this is because of her recipes. I once dropped in and she had fresh bread. It tasted so good, and I had never seen anyone make homemade bread. I desired this skill, so I asked for the recipe. She did not have one! It was all in her head. “Oh, you need some flour and yeast, and a little bit of salt….oh, and some butter, and…” Needless to say, I still do not know how to make her bread.
In her home, I remember getting to play with the toys in the closet in the hall. I remember the birthday list hanging by the phone. I remember the oil rain lamp in the living room, and lying by the piano hearing my cousins and uncles play. I loved to spin on the kitchen chairs that still had the plastic on them. I loved the get drinks of water in the little blue kitchen cups.
She was always tickled about a new craft she had discovered. Taking old jewels and making a Christmas tree. Turning dollar bills into little shirts or rings. Taking a wash cloth and dish cloth and giving it as a gift of a “washer and dryer.” Giving a birthday card with the face of a $2 bill on top to trick you and saying I wish it could have been a hundred. When I was baptized, she crocheted me a duck that pooped out jelly beans.
My cousin Thad is about a week younger than me. It was always so funny because my birthday card was usually late always saying “Oops I got your birthday and Thads mixed up again this year.”
At family reunions, there was always a surprise for the kids. One year she made matching shirts for the boys. Another year she made “quillows”: lap quilts that you could fold into a pillow! FYI- I still have my quillow.
Family reunions were a good time. We rented the clubhouse outside of town. Aside from meals, a highlight was playing card games, the family talent show, milk can dinners, swimming, tennis, riding the pony, walks with Aunt Nancy, and one year we even had a pop machine!
It was always fun to “perform” for grandma, because everything I did was always so great to her. She loved all forms of music and was often singing a Disney or church song. A highlight to me was when she sang “I only have eyes for you” to my grandpa for their 50th Anniversary. She dressed up like a potato and would throw “eyes” at him.
It was awesome to go over to the school and play in the playground. During the winter we would even go sledding over there. Thanksgivings were always held at the school. It was always so fun to explore the school, use the gym mats, and of course play with the floor scooters!
I hear that she stole the show as Bloody Mary in the town play South Pacific. She was often preparing relief society lessons, or for luncheons with the Daughters of the Pioneers. What a great example of involvedness and service.
I remember at my baby shower her and Aunt Aloma giggling like little girls telling stories about how they were always called “those Call girls, and poor Aloma grew up to become a Hussey!” I loved seeing her laughing like that.
When my little girl was born, we named her Emily. Grandma was thrilled because that was her mothers name. Her mother was actually named Milly Milly. As a girl in Hawaii when she would be playing outside when it was time for dinner her mother would call for her “Eey, Milly Milly!” So when she moved here and was asked her name she referred to herself as Emily.
My children and I were able to visit her about a month ago. She was having a pretty good day, and while she didn’t completely remember all of us, she was so sweet to us, and let us feel so loved and welcome. When she visited my little Emily, she smiled with tears of joy and sweetly said “Emily is my momma’s name!”
What a sweet wonderful blessing it was to have spent time with her. Every memory I have with her is a sweet one, and my only regret was that I did not have more. I am so grateful for a heavenly father who loves me. I am grateful that he has created for us a plan that we can be eternal families. I know that our work is only just beginning here on Earth, and that we have so many blessings yet to come.
My grandma has been a great servant to Heavenly Father, and will continue to do so. I will miss her, but mostly I am happy for her. She will get to be her her “momma”, father, son, siblings, and so many others that she has been missing. Grandpa has been so loving and compassionate to her. What a great example to us all of unselfish love, and she totally deserved it.
My heart is full of gratitude and love. Thank you for being a blessing in my life grandma!
Everyone in Pocatello knows of someone who has lived in Soda Springs. When I would meet people, I would assume that everyone would know my family members. Often people would know my grandma. “Oh, she was my lunch lady,” or “Was she the pretty Hawaiian lady!” I was proud to be her granddaughter, and loved the fact that people not only knew her, but also respected her.
As a girl, she would always make silk nightgowns for me and my cousin Danielle. They were the best, because they were so soft and made me feel pretty. To top it all off I would have one in red, blue, peach, green, cream, almost every color a girl could ever want.
Her skills were not limited to sewing. She is famous in my book for her chocolate covered cherries. They are the best in the whole world. As far as I know, nobody else can make them like her. Perhaps this is because of her recipes. I once dropped in and she had fresh bread. It tasted so good, and I had never seen anyone make homemade bread. I desired this skill, so I asked for the recipe. She did not have one! It was all in her head. “Oh, you need some flour and yeast, and a little bit of salt….oh, and some butter, and…” Needless to say, I still do not know how to make her bread.
In her home, I remember getting to play with the toys in the closet in the hall. I remember the birthday list hanging by the phone. I remember the oil rain lamp in the living room, and lying by the piano hearing my cousins and uncles play. I loved to spin on the kitchen chairs that still had the plastic on them. I loved the get drinks of water in the little blue kitchen cups.
She was always tickled about a new craft she had discovered. Taking old jewels and making a Christmas tree. Turning dollar bills into little shirts or rings. Taking a wash cloth and dish cloth and giving it as a gift of a “washer and dryer.” Giving a birthday card with the face of a $2 bill on top to trick you and saying I wish it could have been a hundred. When I was baptized, she crocheted me a duck that pooped out jelly beans.
My cousin Thad is about a week younger than me. It was always so funny because my birthday card was usually late always saying “Oops I got your birthday and Thads mixed up again this year.”
At family reunions, there was always a surprise for the kids. One year she made matching shirts for the boys. Another year she made “quillows”: lap quilts that you could fold into a pillow! FYI- I still have my quillow.
Family reunions were a good time. We rented the clubhouse outside of town. Aside from meals, a highlight was playing card games, the family talent show, milk can dinners, swimming, tennis, riding the pony, walks with Aunt Nancy, and one year we even had a pop machine!
It was always fun to “perform” for grandma, because everything I did was always so great to her. She loved all forms of music and was often singing a Disney or church song. A highlight to me was when she sang “I only have eyes for you” to my grandpa for their 50th Anniversary. She dressed up like a potato and would throw “eyes” at him.
It was awesome to go over to the school and play in the playground. During the winter we would even go sledding over there. Thanksgivings were always held at the school. It was always so fun to explore the school, use the gym mats, and of course play with the floor scooters!
I hear that she stole the show as Bloody Mary in the town play South Pacific. She was often preparing relief society lessons, or for luncheons with the Daughters of the Pioneers. What a great example of involvedness and service.
I remember at my baby shower her and Aunt Aloma giggling like little girls telling stories about how they were always called “those Call girls, and poor Aloma grew up to become a Hussey!” I loved seeing her laughing like that.
When my little girl was born, we named her Emily. Grandma was thrilled because that was her mothers name. Her mother was actually named Milly Milly. As a girl in Hawaii when she would be playing outside when it was time for dinner her mother would call for her “Eey, Milly Milly!” So when she moved here and was asked her name she referred to herself as Emily.
My children and I were able to visit her about a month ago. She was having a pretty good day, and while she didn’t completely remember all of us, she was so sweet to us, and let us feel so loved and welcome. When she visited my little Emily, she smiled with tears of joy and sweetly said “Emily is my momma’s name!”
What a sweet wonderful blessing it was to have spent time with her. Every memory I have with her is a sweet one, and my only regret was that I did not have more. I am so grateful for a heavenly father who loves me. I am grateful that he has created for us a plan that we can be eternal families. I know that our work is only just beginning here on Earth, and that we have so many blessings yet to come.
My grandma has been a great servant to Heavenly Father, and will continue to do so. I will miss her, but mostly I am happy for her. She will get to be her her “momma”, father, son, siblings, and so many others that she has been missing. Grandpa has been so loving and compassionate to her. What a great example to us all of unselfish love, and she totally deserved it.
My heart is full of gratitude and love. Thank you for being a blessing in my life grandma!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Still, still, still
Nope, not the beautiful Christmas song, but my pregnancy status. Still, still still pregnant. Since my last post, I have decided to go off the medicine that helped stop my contractions. I have been having light contracts since then. I don't know if they are doing any good or not, I hope they are worthwhile, they are sure a pain. They make me feel pretty sick. Sean had a flight come up for today. He is in Canada, but should be home soon. He always makes me feel better.
Yesterday was Nates State Lego Robotics. They did really well. They got a really nice medal. I think they took 2nd in teamwork. There were about 80 teams there, and Nates team was on channel 8 news. It was the first time I have been to ISU Rendevous bldg, it is really nice.
Last night we went to Eric and Kandis to celebrate her birthday.
Well I am cramping bad, so that is all for now! :)
Yesterday was Nates State Lego Robotics. They did really well. They got a really nice medal. I think they took 2nd in teamwork. There were about 80 teams there, and Nates team was on channel 8 news. It was the first time I have been to ISU Rendevous bldg, it is really nice.
Last night we went to Eric and Kandis to celebrate her birthday.
Well I am cramping bad, so that is all for now! :)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Pregnancy Update
This one is good news! hehe Went to the Dr. yesterday. The good and bad news is that I am not dialating or effacing--good because it shows that he isn't coming anytime soon, bad because it could mean a longer labor. He did say that if he doesn't come sooner, that it will be better to be induced in 3 weeks. (Three weeks will be the 25th!) At least I have a little better idea. My blood pressure is "okay", so it is safe for me to continue the pregnancy at this time which will be way better for the baby. Also if we wait till the 25th, we won't need an amnio (a test that checks babys development, and involves a long needle) as you can imagine I am thrilled.
While I did get out for an hour yesterday, I have been continuing my bedrest. Mom and Dianne have been helping me this week while Sean has been gone. We have also still been getting in meals from the ward. Thanks a million! I have been getting a lot of stomach pain, but my headaches are getting less frequent, and less severe, so that has been a real blessing. I have also been blessed with a little brighter attitude which make everyone happier. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and feel the desire to prep the room for the baby. Looking forward to meeting sweet baby Ethan, and watching Sean and the kids form bonds with him (I am already pretty attached to him : ))
Once again, that for all the prayers, they have really gotten us thru. I am so greatful to have positive things to report.
While I did get out for an hour yesterday, I have been continuing my bedrest. Mom and Dianne have been helping me this week while Sean has been gone. We have also still been getting in meals from the ward. Thanks a million! I have been getting a lot of stomach pain, but my headaches are getting less frequent, and less severe, so that has been a real blessing. I have also been blessed with a little brighter attitude which make everyone happier. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and feel the desire to prep the room for the baby. Looking forward to meeting sweet baby Ethan, and watching Sean and the kids form bonds with him (I am already pretty attached to him : ))
Once again, that for all the prayers, they have really gotten us thru. I am so greatful to have positive things to report.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Looking forward to a new year!
Well today is the last day of 2009. It has been pretty uneventful, which I guess is always a good thing. Sean worked yesterday. He did a life flight, and made it home at 5:00 am. I had been having pain under my ribs all night, and I could not go back to bed. I went in for a NST this morning. It was a scheduled one, but I was so glad to go in because I had been having the pain, a headache since Sunday, the chills for 2 days, and to be quite honest I was pretty sick of it all, and needed a good pep talk. There are 3 nurses who are especially great to me: Rhonda, Tammy, and Michelle. When I have them I think "Okay, I can do this another week or two, it will really be helpful for the baby." Thank heaven for great nurses. I also feel thankful that Dr. Jones is cautious with me and the baby. The baby was pretty quiet today, so he ordered a ultrasound that double checked his breathing and movements, and the baby scored perfectly. That was great peace of mind because I have felt so crappy, that I really thought today would be the day. I have been able to carry the baby longer than I thought, so that has been a real relief. I guess the next big milestone for him is 36 weeks.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Just wondering
Sometimes I like to peek at other peoples blogs. It scares the crap out of me when people have music blaring on thier blogs when you open them. Have you ever noticed that those are the same people who have like 100 posts to go thru before you get to the bottom and can turn it off (or at the very least, turn it down) I would bet that I would be more likely to listen to their music if i could prepare myself by choosing to turn it on. hehehe
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The end cannot come too soon
Ya, since I am the one who writes this, and I have been in bed for months, most of these entries are about me and how I feel, or when someone vents to me, then my perception of it. I will start off by saying this is not a nice post. I am extremely sick and tired of my headaches. I am tired of staying inside, and I am tired of not being a part of the world. I want to have no headache, and I want to be a part of the world. I want to have the energy to participate in things. I feel really leftout, and to be dealing with headaches on top of it all is extremely frustrating.
My rant is complete, but I still do not feel better, oh well, perhaps later.
My rant is complete, but I still do not feel better, oh well, perhaps later.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
We made it thru Christmas!!!
What an amazing Christmas! Dr Jones let me off bedrest for Christmas activities. What a wonderful gift. I was able to visit Brielle for the first time. She is such a beautiful baby. She reminds me of when Emily was little. I love that we are having a boy, but there definatly is something so precious about little girls. We also got to decorate gingerbread houses with the Ramseys--Anne didn't know what she was getting into when she opened the door to us! hehe Then dad and Gail and the boys came. We went to Golden Corral for lunch. We had fun visiting and laughing. By then I was exhausted and having light contractions. We came home and Thomas and the kids watched a movie, while dad and Gail did some shopping. I figured that was a good time to fit in my NST. I completed that, and then we ran up to Bret and Kristy's house for the annual dinner and gift exchange.
Christmas Eve is such a fun time. I just love it. While we were out, a secret Santa dropped off some gifts for us. How wonderful and blessed. Thank you for all of you who remembered us. We had a lot of fun at the party. That night we got to open the Christmas Eve PJs--Thanks Becky for making them for us! The kids just loved them!!! After the kids went to bed them Sean and I needed to wrap and put together our gifts. Sean was so busy this week, and had very little sleep. He was so exhausted that I had to send him to bed because he kept falling asleep while wrapping. TJ came in and helped me finish. We laughed at how funny Sean gets when he is tired. The next morning the boys got up about 7:30 and went thru thier stockings and Santa gifts. Emily and Sean got up a little after 8:00. Mom and Dianne came by about 9:00. We opened gifts. It was so fun. Emily especially had a permagrin. I loved watching them! I always have a hard time choosing gifts for them, but they got things that they really enjoyed. Sean and I opened our gifts, and felt so greatful.
Then Sean made breakfast for all of us, and I went upsrairs and rested. I stayed down for the day. I have been pretty crampy ever since, but it was wonderful. Last night, Royce, Eric and Kandy came by and watched a show. Things are getting back to normal. Tomorrow with be 34 weeks, so we will have reached another good milestone for the baby. Sean has been terribly swamped with things here. The kids are busy playing. All is well at the Gordons home. :)
Christmas Eve is such a fun time. I just love it. While we were out, a secret Santa dropped off some gifts for us. How wonderful and blessed. Thank you for all of you who remembered us. We had a lot of fun at the party. That night we got to open the Christmas Eve PJs--Thanks Becky for making them for us! The kids just loved them!!! After the kids went to bed them Sean and I needed to wrap and put together our gifts. Sean was so busy this week, and had very little sleep. He was so exhausted that I had to send him to bed because he kept falling asleep while wrapping. TJ came in and helped me finish. We laughed at how funny Sean gets when he is tired. The next morning the boys got up about 7:30 and went thru thier stockings and Santa gifts. Emily and Sean got up a little after 8:00. Mom and Dianne came by about 9:00. We opened gifts. It was so fun. Emily especially had a permagrin. I loved watching them! I always have a hard time choosing gifts for them, but they got things that they really enjoyed. Sean and I opened our gifts, and felt so greatful.
Then Sean made breakfast for all of us, and I went upsrairs and rested. I stayed down for the day. I have been pretty crampy ever since, but it was wonderful. Last night, Royce, Eric and Kandy came by and watched a show. Things are getting back to normal. Tomorrow with be 34 weeks, so we will have reached another good milestone for the baby. Sean has been terribly swamped with things here. The kids are busy playing. All is well at the Gordons home. :)
Thursday, December 24, 2009
It's Christmas Eve!!!!
I can't believe it! It is already Christmas Eve. Sean will get home just in time for the annual Christmas dinner and gift exchange at Bret and Kristy's. Danielle won't be there, she is in Spain. I will not be playing my christmas gift joke this year. (Man, bedrest can put such a damper on activities! hehe) Out of my goal of 11 memory books, I was only able to get 1 complete. What a bum. I think I will just show them the unfinished gift, and let them know I will finish ASAP.
Dad, Gail and the boys are coming up today and should be here around noon. I need to take the kids to the dollar store for the dollar gift exchange, and I really should get some frozen potatoes and a disposable pan for the potatoe cassarole I need to bring for dinner tonight. I also need to fit in a NST today. I should probably shower so that I can get started and home soon to get in a little rest.
I am feeling crampy today, but it is likely just ordinary old woman pregnancy--I know I am not super old, but 32 with 3 kids feels a lot diffrent than 20 with no kids. Sean has been flying coast to coast each day--too bad he doesn't get his hourly bonus, but luckily he has a job, and hopefully weeks like this can help the company so that we can have a better year. This one has kind of been the pits. But at least we still have our home and pretty good health.
Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas! The kids are so excited--especially Emily. That makes it so wonderful!!!!
Dad, Gail and the boys are coming up today and should be here around noon. I need to take the kids to the dollar store for the dollar gift exchange, and I really should get some frozen potatoes and a disposable pan for the potatoe cassarole I need to bring for dinner tonight. I also need to fit in a NST today. I should probably shower so that I can get started and home soon to get in a little rest.
I am feeling crampy today, but it is likely just ordinary old woman pregnancy--I know I am not super old, but 32 with 3 kids feels a lot diffrent than 20 with no kids. Sean has been flying coast to coast each day--too bad he doesn't get his hourly bonus, but luckily he has a job, and hopefully weeks like this can help the company so that we can have a better year. This one has kind of been the pits. But at least we still have our home and pretty good health.
Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas! The kids are so excited--especially Emily. That makes it so wonderful!!!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
3 Days till Christmas
I can't believe Christmas is coming so soon. Last night was the traditional Gibson Family Christmas Progressive Dinner. I was not able to attend. Sean was flying, the kids had haircuts, and I was not feeling well. My mom and Dianne took the kids for me. They had a great time. While they were gone I went and did my NST (my bp was a little high, and I figured since I needed to go the next day anyway, I might as well get it out of the way while the kids were busy. By the time they got home, Emily had a fever. I gave her some medicine, and my mom gave her a bath and she went to sleep. We both slept in till 10 the next morning, which was possible because the boys slept in until 9:30.
Christmas is finally catching up with me. I usually put together Christmas plates soon after Thanksgiving. I have been trying to do it, but Sean keeps telling me I can't. It is killing me. Got them to make cookies and tried to save some, but there is always a "need" elsewhere, plus Sean has me figured out. He assures me "Next year we can make up for it!"
We have recieved so much help with this pregnancy. Thank you to such good friends, neighbors, and ward members, and family. Yesterday we recieved many wonderful gifts. Thank you so much! We will truly enjoy them. We also recieved a very special gift from unknown giver. I do not know who it is from, and it doesn't seem right to try to figure it out, but all I can say is thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts! We really do appreciate it, and we know our children will too. I will save the card and memory of it for the rest of my life, and today we were able to use the gift to make for a really special Christmas that our family otherwise would not have had. Thank you so much. Today before I used the wonderful gift, I said a prayer of Thankfulness to you and your gift and for guidance on how to use it. I had to fight the tears as I left my car, so please know how much it meant to us.
Tonight the boys are going skating with my grandparents and Matthew and Sarah. Emily fell asleep at 6:15. Makes for a quiet home. Can't wait to talk with my sweetheart.
Christmas is finally catching up with me. I usually put together Christmas plates soon after Thanksgiving. I have been trying to do it, but Sean keeps telling me I can't. It is killing me. Got them to make cookies and tried to save some, but there is always a "need" elsewhere, plus Sean has me figured out. He assures me "Next year we can make up for it!"
We have recieved so much help with this pregnancy. Thank you to such good friends, neighbors, and ward members, and family. Yesterday we recieved many wonderful gifts. Thank you so much! We will truly enjoy them. We also recieved a very special gift from unknown giver. I do not know who it is from, and it doesn't seem right to try to figure it out, but all I can say is thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts! We really do appreciate it, and we know our children will too. I will save the card and memory of it for the rest of my life, and today we were able to use the gift to make for a really special Christmas that our family otherwise would not have had. Thank you so much. Today before I used the wonderful gift, I said a prayer of Thankfulness to you and your gift and for guidance on how to use it. I had to fight the tears as I left my car, so please know how much it meant to us.
Tonight the boys are going skating with my grandparents and Matthew and Sarah. Emily fell asleep at 6:15. Makes for a quiet home. Can't wait to talk with my sweetheart.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Today
I am not feeling too great today. All day yesterday and today I have had really bad stomach cramps. My bp is a little high 140s over 95. If the bottom number gets to 100, then I will need to go in, but I should be okay until then. Mentally I feel overcome with gratitude. Sean only got about 4 hours of sleep last night (he had an early flight. Today he flew coast to coast and back to St. Louis, so he has a huge day ahead of him. He stayed up late trying to catch up on some house jobs and scheduling issues so it won't be so hard on me while he is gone. My mom has been here this morning, Nate fixed us lunch, and now the kids are at the Ramseys. They have haircuts this afternoon, then the progressive dinner is tonight. I won't be able to go, but it will be awesome for the kids. I watched the kids leaving, and I had such a surge of love for them. They have been so good today, so helpful and caring. I feel really blessed. It made me think of the saying "Parents don't just love their kids, they fall in love with them." I totally understood that feeling today. Sometimes I love them so much I feel giddy!!! Well time to sign off. I am so tired, but so happy!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Christmas program
There were a lot of people there for Jarons (it was close to the beginning) so his photos were no quite as good. The kids look so cute. I think they are tired of the diffrent programs, but as a parent, they are so great. Plus I love the fact that the school does a Christmas program. Most schools do not.
Merry Christmas!
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